A statement of Thanks
We would like to thank all these amazing women for letting us share their wonderful birth stories and photos. We are so privileged to be able to share the most amazing and exciting part of their life with them. We never get fed up with reading or being part of beautiful birth.
Rene x , Sally x
The cast :
Kath – My Stepmum
Lynda – Yogabirth Instructor
Rene – Independent Midwife, my saviour, recommended by Linda
Nic - The Daddy
Coleman – The Big Brother
Barnaby – The Medium Sized Brother
Luna - The Baby
a little mouse
Sometime back in January, Kitchen of United Reform Church, – Advice from Linda
about the birth:
So Linda was quite ‘firm’ when she said that to get this baby out, I absolutely
had to let go of my analytical brain, stop thinking, and instead just have a
bloody good time. I thought about that one a lot...
Fast forward to Friday 28th May 2010
So Kath was quite ‘scary’ when she said this was the last day she was letting
me run around doing inane jobs – said I was talking the talk “I have to ‘dumb
down’ and relax Kath”, but not walking the walk (reminded me of Lynda, ho ho).
But anyway, I needed to get a cricket hat for Coleman, needed some large sheets
of black art paper for a project I’m doing, and couldn’t possibly give birth
without getting my feet done first. Then we had to go up to the school because
Coleman had casually mentioned that he had been picked to be the cat in the
house music competition and could I come in and do his makeup? How could I refuse?
I got home just in time for my 4 o’clock appointment with Rene and was virtually asleep as I was talking to her. I said “It’s not that I’m desperate, I’m happy to be pregnant for another week but I would quite like to meet my baby – have you got any clary sage?” With that, Rene produced some clary sage from the car with the advice just to put it in my bra on a tissue because after a while, “It smells like wet dog (true) so you don’t want to be sprinkling it round the house...” I went off to bed and had a nice sleep but was (somehow) a bit surprised not to be feeling anything when I woke up. I had some dinner with Kath about 8pm and then started tidying the kitchen.
I didn’t want to say anything but by 9pm told Kath that I was getting tightenings (the best way to describe them – with more pressure than Braxton hicks but not painful). She just gave me an odd look.
So while I was ignoring these sensations (™ Lynda Hills), somewhere in the back of my mind I must have been hoping because I started drinking a lot of water. Rene had said how important it was to keep drinking and weeing and I was enjoying the opportunity to keep trotting off to the loo, as I really wanted to ‘see’ something so that I could start to feel excited.
I should also say that I had been on a ‘Mongan Method’ hypnobirthing course and that one of the things about hypnobirthing is that you’re not ‘supposed to know’ that you’re in labour then you find your 10cm by the time you get to the hospital only no one believes you etc. So I’m waiting for period pains, looking for a show, wondering if I’ll have diarrhoea, but, nothing. In the end, the show came out with Luna’s head.
At 10pm Nic arrived home from Zurich (yes really!) wanting to tell me all about the trip. I tell him about these tightenings and say that I’m not going to talk because I don’t want it all to stop again. (I had had seven hours of mild but regular sensations a couple of weeks before (enough to make me go out and buy nappies), and then, nothing and it had really thrown me.)
So I sat there with Nic while he ate his dinner in silence. Which was weird. Kath and I had been half-heartedly putting the boys to bed and half letting them stay up for Nic so I was a bit irritable with them to be quiet while they were going down. I still hadn’t finished tidying the kitchen, you know, scrubbing the hob, wiping the skirting boards, polishing the chrome light switch by the door. Later Nic said he knew something was up because I kept commanding him: “Take the bin out, use that granite spray, get the crumbs off the toaster!” (Such a parody of my pregnant self, funny really!)
Finally I thought the kitchen was up to scratch and really fancied the idea of getting in the pool (which I hadn’t fancied until then). So we faffed around with various lamps getting the lighting just right (dark enough) and I timed a few surges (™ Hypnobirthing) which still weren’t painful and only lasting 30 seconds but were coming every few minutes. I really wanted to get in the pool so I didn’t have to keep going to the loo to wee (you wee in the pool), and so that I could be a wide mouthed frog which I didn’t fancy doing on land.
Rene had said earlier, could I try and not get in the pool until she was there because it would be better if she checked the baby’s position first.
So sod it, I called her. She said I sounded OK but what did I want her to do? I asked her to come over.
While I was waiting, I lay down on my bed with my ‘Meditate Like a Buddhist Monk CD’ which is supposed to have the knock-on effect of making you produce endorphins (hey, works for me..) I was quite zoned and Rene arrived at 11.40 just as it finished. She was looking ready for business with her hair tied back and one of those midwife thingies pinned to her top. That’s weird I *thought*, she thinks I’m going to have a baby!
Rene started doing her checks and I realised that I was shivering a bit, although not from the cold... I did wonder at that point whether this was the beginning of things.
Rene finished her checks and I literally flew down the stairs into the pool, taking my knickers off as I went... It’s always best to take your knickers off to give birth ;-)
I got into the pool, had a cup of tea, and was enjoying sniffing on a flannel sprinkled with clary sage. I put on the hypnobirthing CD with headphones and switched on the wobbly old woman who repeats the birthing affirmations I had been listening to for months. (God knows why they didn’t choose someone sounding vibrant and empowered but there you go.)
Off she went: “I put all fear aside as I prepare for the birth of my baby. I am focussed on a smooth, easy birth. I am relaxed and happy that my baby is finally coming to me. I feel confident, I feel safe, I feel secure.” And I did. I got into that for a bit but looked up to realise that Nic was sitting on the sofa with Rene (I don’t know where I thought he was) looking absolutely knackered. I still didn't feel sure that this wasn’t all going to stop again, so I sent him upstairs for a sleep.
I listened to the affirmations for one cycle (40 mins) and then put them on again but with no real awareness of time, or of anything else just breathing through the surges as they came and went and visualising 10cm. At some point I got sick of the stupid old bag on the CD player and flung the headphones off. (That reminded me of my first labour when I had declared the TENS machine to be shit and made Nic run off to get some new batteries for it...).
I start toning at then and I’m surprised ‘cause it was really quite helpful and it sounds quite nice, a sort of multi pitch tone, getting lower - ah , aah, aaahhh. Then I start to feel really hot. I don’t want to get my shoulders out of the water but it was the only way to cool down so I stood up a bit. “Hot.” I said to Rene and she went off to the kitchen to get some cold water which she dipped the clary sage flannel in and sprinkled onto me. The clary sage flannel was now wet and it tasted nice (!) so I sucked on it for a bit which was very comforting apart from I was still feeling hot .
So I stood up, and squatted down, and stood up, and sort of jumped up and down on my toes for a bit, holding onto the side of the pool. (After I realised this was Lynda’s ‘yes, yes, yes” move but without my hands in the air.... Amazing really, that’s instinct trying to move the baby down, and Lynda, I can’t have been thinking because I didn’t realise what I was ‘doing’ although Rene recognised this as ‘something going on’.)
I’m standing up now and the contractions (let’s not mince words here) are hurting.
I’m honestly still not convinced though that this isn’t all going to stop, or
that, if we checked I’d even be 4cm because that’s been my experience before
with a slow, back to back labour.
And, oh oh, my brain has kicked in and I start thinking about pelvic stations.
I wonder whether the baby has moved past zero cause I’m looking at the shape
of my bump and it looks the same. “Rene.” I say rudely, “Can you tell from there
whether she’s moved down?” Rene just looks at me. “Why don’t you have a feel,
can you have a feel from there?” No response. In the end I realise she’s not
going to talk to me. Right! I think, I’ve had enough of this water. I’m getting
out. “Please,” I say nicely to Rene “can you go and get my grey nightie – it’s
on the cot?” Rene didn’t even bother to ask why (no point in arguing she said
later), and just went up to get the nightie.
In my head I need the nightie because I’m GOING OUTSIDE to hang on the boy’s trapeze in the garden, in the moonlight. But in reality I can’t actually move from where I am and a weird thing is happening with the contractions, they’re intense but the intensity doesn’t last long and they’re taking ages to tail off but that tailing off is really nice... which is a pity cause I really want to get out of this bloody pool, and go outside and I’m really tired and I really want to go to bed and I want to go home!!!
01.14 Rene writes in the notes ‘Getting a little more vocal with contractions.’ Yes I was, they were more like Ah , AAh, AAAhhhrrrrrrrrrr. Then, true to form (for anyone who knows me), I try singing for a bit and that’s nice but it soon goes back to Ah , AAh, AAAhhhrrrrrrrrrr. Ah , AAh, AAAhhhrrrrrrrrrrIwantsomegasandair. I get the gas and air immediately (not like the bloody hospital) and no sooner have I taken a ‘swig’ I hear myself make an urrrgh noise. I was thinking here because I knew it was a pushing type noise and I was worried because in my other labours as soon as I made this noise they told me to ‘stop’ because I wasn’t fully dilated – actually both times it had been the pressure of the baby turning back to back and the start of all hell breaking loose.
But I know she hasn’t turned and besides, I’m having such a lovely long break in between this contraction now, it's the most peaceful place I've ever been to and I remember hoping that I’ll get another break like this when, SUDDENLY, it’s as though I’m being dragged backwards out of heaven by my ankles....
So I’m clinging onto the side of the pool for dear life and, Rene what are you doing? Let go of my bloody ankles, “Urrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggh!” Stops. Oh my God, this is really happening, Rene’s talking about getting Nic – “Rene, don’t you dare leave me to go and get Nic!” ... holds onto side “Urrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggh, go and get Nic!” Nic arrives and I don’t feel self-conscious at all – “Go and get Kath” – Kath arrives and it goes something like this: Ready, hold onto side, Urrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggh, (gets dragged backwards by ankles in Superman pose), Urrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggh, looks up at Kath “I’m OK, I’m OK, It doesn’t hurt!”
And that’s what the second stage was like, for me it should have been called PULLING! I was actually in froggy’s pose with knees wide on the floor and ankles wide at the back, and Rene was nowhere near my ankles but she’s telling me (with the use of her mirror), “I can see a lot of movement... Lots of membranes at vulva... Lots of baby’s head, she’s stretching you gently Emma, she’s doing exactly what she needs to do, you’re going to get HUGE.” Rene says that her nose is out and to just hang on and I say (I can’t believe I say this) “Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes yes!” until the next contraction cause I know there can only be one more and suddenly I feel the rest of the baby whoooosh out of me and I don’t even remember looking down to see her, she’s just there in my arms, wailing and it feels really natural to go and get the boys. It was 2.12 am.
The boys come down and I feel great but someone’s tickling me and I realise it’s the cord in between my legs, which is really the last thing I wanted to feel at that moment so I get out of the pool and Kath cuts the cord as soon as it stops pulsating. Coleman gets the first hold of the baby while I ‘deliver’ the placenta (it just plops out onto the floor). I get the baby back and she’s licking my breast which is so cute – Rene says it means she wants to feed and I discover I’ve forgotten how (tummy to mummy, nose to nipple) but we get there in the end and she stays there for ages, and the whole thing has been absolutely blissful. I really enjoyed it!
After, I have a bath and Rene checks me (the worst bit) and I’m absolutely amazed when she says I have a little tear (cause I didn’t feel anything) but as long as I absolutely promise to stay in bed for a five days (that’s how long it takes to heal), then she doesn’t have to stitch it. There are (Google it), two lots of opinion on whether to stitch or not to stitch but I had stitches in Hong Kong and by day 5 they were gaping open (Rene told me this can happen sometimes as the stitches actually push the two sides apart). So because of that, and since 5 days in bed seems like a no brainer, we don’t stitch. In the event it healed beautifully. It took 5 days.
I have since read that if you put two pieces of perineum in a room they will knit back together...
Luna is just over two weeks old today and everyone has been absolutely brilliant, especially Nic who’s been up with Luna, made me lots of delicious, nutritious meals (ask Tanya, she’s had one!) and generally run around after the boys making sure they didn’t feel left out. We even managed a 30 second hug the other day. Kath got very fit running up and down the stairs after me and Rene's love and support in the post-partum period has been invaluable. Most of all I can't believe how totally bonded I feel with this baby and I don't want to put her down at all.
As for the little mouse… we’ve been trying to catch him for ages. The organic peanut butter was left untouched on the ‘Big Cheese’ mousetrap (note to self – try Sunpat), and that mice like actual cheese is a complete myth, but he does love Lindt chocolate bunny which he is able to get off the ‘Big Cheese’ mouse trap without setting it off. Nic said that while I was in the pool he was happily chasing a bit of tin foil around the kitchen… seems a shame to kill him now…
Google link to Luna's Song - 'Whispers' by Fairground Attraction
Before I met Rene and had the great experience of such a personal service I can only describe what I thought I knew about pregnancy and labour as what I'd seen on TV, expectant mother's rushed into hospital on stretchers screaming, surrounded by doctors in surgical clothes. I'm so glad I had the opportunity to have an independent midwife like Rene to make sure that wasn't the experience I had.
This being my first pregnancy, I was open minded to suggestions of where to have my baby but when we discussed the option of a home birth the more it felt like the right option for me. I have never been a great lover of hospitals, in fact even going for a blood test makes me nervous so the thought of not having to go in was a relieving one.
I was thought to be 35 weeks pregnant when my waters broke, it was a late Thursday evening and exactly a month before my due date, so we made that all important phone call to Rene, she told us to monitor any contractions, call her with any major updates and if nothing had happened over night she would be round in the morning. I couldn't believe it, my baby was on its way!
No major contractions happened over night it was all very mild so Rene arrived ten o'clock the following morning, she confirmed I was in labour but the early stages. Unfortunately because my waters had broken and my baby was coming early we thought we were going to have to have a hospital birth but after further discussion of dates we realised I was more 36/37 weeks so a home birth it would be!
I still had a few last minute bits to buy for the baby so Rene said it was fine for me to go shopping with my partner then come home and try to get some sleep before the contractions became more frequent, I couldn't quite believe I was walking around Bromley shopping centre in labour knowing by the next morning hopefully we would be a family, what a fantastic feeling!
I got home after shopping but I couldn't sleep, I had my tens machine on to help with the contractions which was fab. My mum came over at this point as I had asked her to be there at the birth, there is nobody quite like your own mum when you need to be looked after, she was excited that soon she would be a Nan but still a bit apprehensive of me having a home birth. Over the space of the evening my contractions got worse Rene came back when they were around five mins apart, my partner Daniel was fantastic knowing all the right things to say.
My contractions became more frequent and painful and I felt like I wanted to get into the birth pool, Rene suggested examining me just to make sure I was ready to go in the pool, I was 7cms so she suggested a few more laps around the garden just to bring the baby’s’ head down more before I got in to the pool, so as our neighbours waved over the fence I walked around buzzing my tens machine to every contraction.
When I thought I was ready I got in to the birthing pool, my partner had lit scented candles, the lights were off, everybody was so calm the atmosphere was lovely. The pool helped relax me straight away being in the warm water was like a relaxing bath. My contractions soon became stronger, Rene was amazing her voice stayed so calm when ever she spoke she helped talk me through the contractions and eventually suggested some gas and air and when you haven't had a drink for eight months it was the most amazing pain relief ever! My head went light and the contractions eased.
I started to feel like I wanted to push and was encouraged to do exactly what my body was telling me, I gripped hold of my partner as I felt the burning, tingling sensation of the baby coming. It wasn't that long before the head was out with a yelp of relief, it was amazing to think my baby was almost here. I remember Rene saying one more push and your baby will be born. The next thing I know their I was picking her up out of the water, amazed to find out after everybody thinking she would be a boy in fact I had a beautiful little girl who had slept through the whole labour because of the relaxing atmosphere.
She was content and healthy and with in about ten minutes of my partner cutting the umbilical cord she was already making sucking movements with her mouth to be fed so all was well.
I still had to deliver the after birth which took over an hour, we had almost given up when right at the last minute I had a contraction and out it came. Rene and Sally helped to bath me and get me comfortable in bed. Rene then examined me and I had no need for stitches, she said if she hadn't seen me have the baby she wouldn't have believed it, which i was very grateful for. My mum was converted and she will be recommending home births to everybody now I'm sure!
After having Halle-Jay I realised it was not just the fantastic support during pregnancy and labour that was so important but also the post natal care, suddenly I was a mum with so many questions, it was lovely to be able to see Rene everyday for comfort and reassurance for me and my partner, that we were doing well. Halle is now three weeks old and I find it devastating to think I only have one week left with Rene as she has become a major part of my life and my family's ,the one thing I do find reassuring is that she's only ever a phone call away when ever I need her and I only hope that after reading this somebody else takes the opportunity to have such an exceptional handful of women to make this experience as magical as it was for me and my partner and for that Rene; me, Daniel and Halle -Jay thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
When I became pregnant with my second child, I knew that I did not want to repeat the experience I have had with my son, Magnus, 4 years ago. My waters had gone and I was induced 2 days later. It was a horrendous experience, not so much because it was incredibly painful and exhausting, but due to the circumstances and the hospital environment. I spent 2 days and nights on the postnatal ward surrounded by mothers holding their new babies, waiting for the induction to actually work, for consultants to turn up, with midwives constantly changing, my husband having to leave in the evening. By the time I was finally classed as in labour and transferred to the delivery ward all I wanted was to get it all over with and leave the place asap.
About a year ago, one of my friends had a lovely water birth at home and she very warmly recommended Rene. It is fair to say that at that initially my husband and I were not in any way fervent believers in the advantages of home birth. But we knew that we wanted a better birth experience, continuity of care and proper post natal support and having Rene as a midwife has made all of that possible to a degree that was beyond anything that I expected or anticipated.
My pregnancy was straightforward and uncomplicated. Magnus had been a week early and I felt that the baby would probably be a bit early, too. My waters broke at 38 weeks, the night just after Magnus’ 4th birthday party. I am sure I would have panicked at that point had it not been for Rene. The last thing I wanted was another induction in hospital! But Rene came round the next day to check on me and she just did what she had done throughout my pregnancy. She instilled confidence in her unique, very unobtrusive, but effective way which is testimony to both her professionalism and a passionate believe that giving birth shouldn’t and needn’t be the terrible experience it sadly currently is for many women in Britain.
Rene gave me some homeopathic remedies and left, having said all the right things to make me stop worrying about what would happen if I didn’t go into labour within the next couple of days. Throughout the day I had some mild contractions when I walked which gave me hope. Around 11pm I was woken by a single, but quite painful contraction which was followed by another one an hour later. Within half an hour, I had regular contractions. I listened to my hypnobirthing tape and got a hot water bottle for my back. Just after 2 am my husband phoned Rene and got the pool ready. When he called her again just over an hour later I had contractions every 3 minutes.
Rene arrived half an hour later and things where progressing at surprising speed. Rene hat told me before that on average, ‘her’ second babies delivered within 5 hours but to be honest, I had been sceptical. The pool was waiting downstairs but I wasn’t even sure if there was still any point in getting in. A couple of minutes later, I thought this is getting pretty intense now, I might as well get in the pool.
Christina was born barely half an hour later in the pool, and it had taken no more than 4.5 hours to deliver her with the second stage lasting less than 10 minutes. I picked her up and the way she looked at me I can only describe as happy. She was rosy and alert, wanting to feed immediately. This was quite a contrast to Magnus who had passed meconium and was all blue when he was born, clearly not happy at all!
Equally, the first few weeks after I had Christina were very different. Rene offered brilliant support with breastfeeding after I had struggled for months to make it work with Magnus. To every problem she had about three potential solutions, at least one of which would certainly work. There was nothing of the usual madness and feverish activity that everyone seems to accept as normal with a newborn baby. Apparently, with the right support, things can be very different.
Also we were able to make informed choices about a whole range of issues where at a normal hospital birth you would simply be presented with a ‘one size fits all’ NHS policy which you may or may not agree with.
I have been really impressed with Rene’s calmness, professionalism and her amazing ability to offer exactly the right support. The whole experience was very personal and also empowering in a way that I am convinced would simply be impossible if one gives birth in a hospital room full of strangers.
Christophs' story of baby Christina
When Ingrid told me about the possibility of having an independent midwife, I could understand that she wanted to avoid making the same experience with changing midwifes during and after the birth of our first child. When she told me that she was also quite keen on having a home birth, I was sceptical – as most men tend to be. Surely, not having access to all the gadgets and expertise must be bad idea? I thought about the situation at the birth of our son, when he was born blue and not breathing – the delivery suite was suddenly full of doctors who worked together like pit-stop team, making sure our little one was fine.
What I did not realise at the time and only gradually understood in the course of conversations with Rene was that having a home birth actually reduces rather than increases risks in comparison to the hospital with its changing personnel, limited resources, and standard procedures, not mention all the bugs around. Hospitals are efficient institutions for treating ill-people, but pregnancy is not an illness and giving birth is something that women are under most circumstances able to do on their own – if they feel safe in their environment and trust the people with them. This trust was gradually built up in the course of the pregnancy as Rene came to visit and served us well when Ingrid’s waters broke two weeks early. We were afraid that labour would not start naturally and that she would have to be induced again in hospital, but Rene said all the right things (and I dare say, so did I), which fortunately helped Ingrid to relax so that labour started 24 hours later. This was already a positive sign and I felt positive from then on that Ingrid would have her desired birth at home. We checked with Rene on the phone about the progress of labour. The only anxious moment was for me when contractions seemed to be getting more frequent and more intense very quickly and we were waiting for Rene to turn-up. Not that she was slow or held up – we had just left the call a bit late. So for 25 surreal and long minutes I contemplated the prospect of delivering my daughter myself until Rene did finally arrive.
From then on, everything really went quickly and without any problems. I had already filled the pool two hours earlier and covered it with a special cover (must-buy!), so that it stayed hot. After adding a little cold water it had the perfect temperature and Ingrid had our daughter just half an hour after entering the pool. It went so quickly and without any complication that I could not believe it. Afterwards, everything was calm, warm and beautiful. What a contrast to the birth of our first child in hospital! The positive experience continued for me throughout the following days when Rene came to provide reassurance and practical breast-feeding advice. Overall, it should be clear by now that my experience has been very positive. I cannot judge how representative it is, but I hope reading this might give prospective fathers at least a nudge towards seriously considering the option of home birth supported by a professional midwife.
Julie & baby Amelya - Home Water birth
Giving birth was the best experience I have ever gone through, and I have no doubt in my mind that it was made that way by the people surrounding me.
Not once did I feel rushed, stressed or frightened as Sally’s confidence and professionalism guided me through natural child birth.
I had little Amelya in the comfort of my own home, in the living room, at 4.22 in the morning, in a warm pool my silly husband kept tinkering with to keep at the right temperature. In total, about 6 hours was all it took, from the time of calling Sally to my baby popping out.
I have never liked hospitals, and the whole thought of being in a place where
sick people were kept, was really unpleasant and was not what I wanted the first
environment my child to experience. I also had never had great faith in the
NHS; all statistics, schedules and procedures. In my eyes, having a baby wasn’t
a medical procedure; it was a natural process of life. IF at any point it would
have been necessary for me to go in, I would have listened to Sally and trusted
her that that is what I needed to do. As it so happened, hospital was not called
for, although during transition, when I thought, as most women do I’m told,
I couldn’t do it any more, I wanted to be knocked out.
I went 41 weeks before I decided that I had had enough waiting, it was time
for her to come out. I had been 2 cm for a whole week without feeling a thing,
and did think (and half hoped) that if I could do the next 8 like that, it would
be good. However, that was not the case. I started getting contractions every
5 minutes on the Wednesday evening, which felt like period pain, so my husband
rang Sally. I could talk to Sally during these, and she told me it was probably
going to be a while. A few hours later, and every 3 minutes now, I could definitely
not mistake labour pain. At 11o’clock my husband rang sally again and she thought
it would be a good idea to come over. When she arrived, I was rocking on my
big ball as sitting on it was the only real position that was comfortable. I
was listening to my hypnobirthing cd and feeling in control. I asked Sally if
she could check my progress and I was a little disappointed when she told me
I hadn’t really changed. She reassured me though, and told me to try to go to
bed and get some sleep; she would stay on the sofa. It really didn’t seem that
long from the time I went upstairs to the time I had to get my husband to call
sally. I couldn’t get comfortable and I didn’t seem to be getting a break from
the contractions. I thought I needed the toilet, but couldn’t go, I couldn’t
bare sitting on anything that wasn’t the birthing ball. Sally made me laugh
when she told me that while I was in the bathroom telling my husband to knock
me out and that and that I couldn’t do it any more, she was listening to me
and thinking I was in transition.
On exiting the bathroom, Sally suggested that she examine me again, just to see. I remember telling her that if I hadn’t moved much from 2cm, that that was it, she was going to take me to hospital for an epidural. Sally reminded me that going to hospital was not what I wanted, and that I was “doing it”! When she said that she couldn’t feel my cervix any more, I thought that meant that I had gone back to nothing again. She had to then tell me a few times that “it was time” and it would probably be a good idea that I got into the pool. After she had said this to me and told me I was doing it, I don’t remember any more pain. It was like I had been told I had made it this far and now I was at the home stretch.
I got downstairs and no sooner had I got to the edge of the pool; I suddenly got this overwhelming urge. My body seemed to take over and I said to Sally, “Something’s happening”. I wish I had recorded the next bit. A noise I have never made, or can make again to this day came out of my mouth. A low, primeval groan vibrated through my whole body. I got into the water and the weightlessness was pure bliss. The warmth and the lightness made any feeling of discomfort I have leave me.
The regular low noises indicated my little one was coming, and I was unaware of myself “pushing”. My body seemed to take over as if it knew what it was doing, watched over silently by Sally who told me she didn’t need to tell me to do anything as I was already doing it?!? I remember her saying that she thought she had better give Dorothy (the second midwife) a call otherwise she might not make it. Dorothy turned up with 10 minutes to spare. I didn’t realise Amelya’s head was out, and Sally told me that one more push and she would be out. All I could say was “really?” Next thing I know, Amelya was in my arms and all I could say to her was “hello!”
Lisa & baby Oliver - Home Water birth
When I fell pregnant with our third child, Oliver, I was very keen to have a good birth experience having had disappointing experiences with my previous two births. My older sons, Thomas and Luke, were born in hospital and with both births I felt I had no connection with the numerous hospital midwives responsible for me and that the level of care and consideration for me or my wishes, during labour and postnataly, was unsatisfactory.
Despite my previous hospital experiences my husband, James and I didn’t have strong feelings towards home birth either and we spent a long time researching hospital vs home birth and considered doulas, community midwives, several hospitals (NHS and private) and independent midwives. During that process we met three midwives, Rene being the last. I had been getting pretty anxious that we hadn’t resolved the issue of where and how to give birth but on meeting Rene, with relief, we knew she was the right option for us.
We were really impressed with Rene’s extensive experience and felt that she
would offer a high level of care and support as well as giving us the flexibility
to decide during labour whether to go for a hospital or home birth. We had booked
Rene fairly late in the pregnancy and she invested a significant amount of time
during antenatal appointments in getting to know us so that by the time I went
into labour Rene had become part of the furniture and we felt very comfortable
having her around. This along with Rene’s professionalism gave us the confidence
to try for a homebirth.
It was super having antenatal appointments at home – I didn’t have to drag myself and the boys off to the doctors and no chance of picking up any nasty bugs at the surgery. During the last difficult weeks of pregnancy Rene was particularly helpful in advising me on how to encourage labour and she provided support and a good ear for me to moan to!
At 40 weeks plus 2, after a sweep courtesy of Rene and a reflexology session the boys were safely despatched to bed and contractions started about 7.00pm. Contractions gradually increased and were fairly consistent but not lasting any longer than 30-40 seconds. Rene had given me a homeopathic remedy to take during early labour to keep contractions going however I still daren’t sit down fearing that if I relaxed the contractions might stop and I was determined that the baby HAD TO come now. Having literally bounced around the house for a good five hours Rene suggested I try to rest. By 5a.m, the contractions were lasting about the same time but felt much stronger so we called Rene who arrived quickly and quietly to assess me. While James was engaged topping up the pool Rene provided me with support through my contractions helping me relax and breathe properly – I had pretty nasty back pain and Rene helped ease it by massaging my back.
Compared to my previous births I felt very relaxed throughout labour and with Rene’s support, felt I was managing the contractions comparatively well. I heard Rene call Sally suggesting she came over because I may be in transition – I was quite surprised and excited to hear that because I felt I was still coping quite well and didn’t think birth was that imminent. Rene suggested I get into the pool and Sally arrived soon after. Unfortunately getting Oliver out took longer than expected and the boys woke up at 6.45am so James cared for them while Rene stayed to support me. This is where the time Rene spent with me prior to delivery really paid off as I felt completely relaxed about James not being there – fully confidant with Rene’s support. James despatched the boys to a friend’s house and re-joined the fun. My contractions almost immediately intensified and after a few pushes the membranes were born – a bit disappointing that it wasn’t the head!! Unfortunately that pleasure was still to come. Having had two episiotomies with the boys I was pretty alarmed to experience crowning and found this bit the hardest part to deal with. I was glad it was a Saturday morning and not too many people about or I’m sure the police would have been round investigating a suspected murder! Again Rene provided the encouragement and support I needed to continue pushing to get Oliver out. It took a whole hour of pushing before Oliver arrived with his hand squished at the side of his ear – hence the delay! He was born at 8.30am, in the pool and passed directly into my arms which was just wonderful. It was so very special to have been the one to lift our beautiful son from the water to take his first breath of air. I still love looking at that moment captured in a photo and showing the enormous sense of relief and joy.
I cuddled Oliver while James cut the cord after it had stopped pulsating. Shortly afterwards contractions started again so I stayed in the pool to deliver the placenta. The whole process felt so relaxed and natural - what a huge contrast to a hospital birth!
After the hard work was done Rene, Sally, James and myself, (still in the pool with Oliver), toasted the occasion with champagne, chocolates and bacon butties after which Rene and Sally helped me upstairs, into a nice bath and then bed – they looked after me so well I felt like a princess!!
In conclusion, despite our initial reservations about homebirth, Oliver’s birth experience was a complete success – even my recovery was markedly easier – not even a stitch to be healed! My only regret is that we hadn’t booked Rene somewhat earlier in my pregnancy. Thanks Rene and Sally for making my last son’s birth such a wonderful occasion, as these things should be.
James' story of baby Oliver
With two hospital births under the belt and being dissatisfied with the NHS experience, we considered a number of birth options. We knew that a return to the same hospital was the last thing that we wanted to do. We had started out with a hospital birth with our first son, we lived close to the hospital and I in particular had worried (unnecessarily) about complications in childbirth. After the birth of our second son at the same hospital, having become pregnant with our third child Lisa didn’t want the same impersonal treatment and so we started to look at other options. We looked at private birthing suites, NHS community midwives, other hospitals and independent midwifes.
The private birthing suite didn't seem that different. The community midwives seemed to be under resourced and with hospital as the fall back to a lack of midwives “on the night”, an independent midwife seemed to be a more certain option. Lisa had delivered naturally with our first two sons without any particular complications and so we ignored the hospital consultant’s hearty endorsement of the hospital (“it will be different this time”) and followed instinct. For us there were four main areas of concern. The most obvious one was that a complication would develop in childbirth and critical time would be wasted getting to the hospital. The second was that Lisa wouldn’t get on with the midwife or that we would have reservations around competency. The third one was that our young sons would be in the house and we’d have to get them out of the house while the baby was being born. Finally, we also wondered if we would end up paying for a service we wouldn’t really use if Lisa ended up having to have a c-section.
We did research on the internet, met thee midwives, and decided that Rene was clearly the right person for us. Like many things, it’s a personal choice as all the midwives we met were nice, professional people. We felt Rene’s attitude was just right - she didn't need to sell herself - and could answer the questions we had just right. A plus for us was that Rene could do the post birth checks - meaning that if we did go into hospital we could get out again swiftly without having to wait for a paediatrician. However, of most importance to me was that I felt happy that if something did start to go wrong, that we could trust Rene to either deal with it or anticipate it soon enough in order to get to hospital in time.
We got to know Rene through her frequent visits and these made Lisa relaxed and more confident about our decision. We had time to get a birthing pool and all the other things we needed for a home birth and drew up a plan of action, depending on time of day and day of the week. When the time came Lisa felt comfortable calling Rene late at night when her contractions didn’t seem to be picking up enough and again when they did pick up. Rene was around very quickly and we had a real calm sense of purpose as Lisa began giving birth in earnest. The birth happened more quickly than in hospital and wasn’t punctuated by bundling Lisa into the car and getting her up to the hospital ward. By the time our young boys woke up and were sent off to spend the day with a friend, Sally had appeared swiftly and an hour later Oliver was born. He had his left hand up by his ear and so made it more difficult for Lisa than it needed to be, but he was born just fine in the birthing pool. It was very weird to see his little head poking out and underwater for that short time before his body was born. It was an amazing experience to see Lisa have little Oliver born into the water and pushed up to her between her legs and into her arms. It felt so much more relaxing and enjoyable to sit on the sofa immediately afterwards and have a chat over a bacon sandwich and glass of champagne. Rene and Sally really looked after Lisa and helped bathe her and get her into bed. Rene’s follow up visits were also great for us, as you forget a lot about new born babies quite quickly. Overall, Rene spent a lot of time getting to know us, helping Oliver be born and then checking up on Oliver and Lisa afterwards.
We both felt that the decision to go with Rene was absolutely the right one,
and we were pleased that we went with our instinct and didn’t listen to those
few unhelpful people who cast doubt on the homebirth option, for the most part
out of ignorance. Oliver’s birth was a wonderful experience and we’re all very
happy !
Kirsty & baby Sebastian - Hospital birth
We always wanted a hospital birth for our second child. We felt that, should
something go wrong, the most important thing was to have the best and quickest
medical support, for me and the baby. However, during early visits with the
local midwife and with the hospital, I realised that the level of personal,
consistent care, and information sharing was very poor.
We decided to have an independent midwife to guide us through the ante natal
experience, support us during the birth and help us with those most important
early weeks with our new baby.
The months of support from Sally before the birth, prepared me both intellectually and emotionally for the marathon of child birth. Her explanations of what was happening to my body, the possible risks and procedures, and the decisions that we would have to make during labour, prepared me for the experience. And my husband and I felt that we made informed decisions all the way through pregnancy and birth thanks to Sally.
The labour did not go as hoped. I chose to have an induced labour, when I was 8 days overdue. I felt that the baby was too big and “needed” to be born. I knew through Sally’s guidance, that this meant the probability of a long, painful labour, and more medical intervention than I had hoped for, but I was prepared for the experience.
It was long, and painful, but I gave birth to a 9 pound, 7 ounce beautiful baby boy on Christmas night.
I had breast fed my daughter for a full year, so I thought that it would be easy to do it for my son. It wasn’t. I had forgotten how painful those early feeds are. My son has a very strong suck, and had ruptured something internally in my breast, and was ingesting my blood. Sally knew that I was determined to persist. She encouraged me, taught me different techniques to alleviate the pain, and within a fortnight, it was smooth sailing again.
Sally’s support alleviated so much stress during the entire experience. I would
encourage any woman who is contemplating a hospital birth to also have the consistent
support, information and care of an independent midwife.
Emma & baby Mia - Homebirth
This baby is my 3rd, My first baby Alfie who is now 8 was born at QM with a ventouse as his head was rather large, although I cannot really remember most of the birth, I do remember my husband and mum being there for me and through the pain it was their voices that I could hear and I listened to, I also remember there being a lot of people coming in and out of the room which really annoyed me! I had to have stitches after with alot of pain afterwards for at least 6 months! I tried breast feeding which lasted for about 5 months as it was so painful, the midwives were not much help and I didn’t feel very supported. If it wasn’t for my mum and husbands support I wouldn’t have carried on for so long.
My 2nd baby Skye who is now 4 was born at Darenth Valley hospital as I didn’t
want to go to QM, I decided I wanted a water birth but was told I needed to
arrange my own midwife as theirs didn’t cover my area! So with mums help as
she was training at the time I arranged to meet the lady who was going to attend
before the birth. When I went into labour I called mum, she arrived then we
made our way to the hospital, the midwife we had asked to help arrived and filled
up the pool, I felt much more relaxed this time, I got into the pool and the
contractions were strong. The midwife sat back and let us get on with it, we
didn’t have many interruptions from other staff I seemed very relaxed, after
4-5 hours my mum suggested I go to the toilet as I had drunk 2 jugs of water
but I really didn’t want to get out of the pool. By this time the midwife was
checking her watch all the time as I later found out there was somewhere else
she had to be! Obviously more important than me! Eventually I got out of the
pool and went to the toilet, helped by my mum, I weed for about 10 minutes (I
didn’t realise I needed to go so much) as I walked back to the room the baby’s
head touched my cervix fell and I was in agony, the midwife suggested pethidine
without me realizing she had stuck it in my leg, 2 minutes later there was no
time for the pool and I ended up having her on the bed. Then the pethidine kicked
in and I was asleep! I missed the first few hours of my daughters life and that
crucial bonding time, still my mum and husband talk about things that happened
and I slept through the lot! All because the midwife had somewhere better to
be. It took me nearly 2 years to properly bond with my daughter and feel true
love for her it was really hard for me and the rest of my family. Now I love
her to pieces.
I was really scared to have another baby but 4 years later I fell pregnant again.
This time at 4 weeks pregnant I knew my mum was going to be my midwife and there
was no way I was going to hospital at all! I had lots of worries and concerns
about how I was going to cope, both with the birth and after, although I had
2 pretty easy births they were both quite short and moderate pain with only
gas and air it’s the after bit I find really hard to cope with, the pain down
below and the breast feeding. I was very disappointed with myself for not feeding
my other 2 for as long as I should and I really wanted to get it right this
time. My mum assured me she will be there to support me all the way which I
knew she would do anyway as both my mum and midwife. I feel I can tell my mum
anything at all which is very handy when you give up all rights to privacy when
you’re pregnant ;-).
If I ever had any worries I would just phone her up and ask even though this
was my 3rd pregnancy I still had loads of questions, its strange how you forget.
My husband was a bit worried about a home birth as he was bought up to believe
hospitals were best etc!
My mum came over to do a birth talk at 36 weeks and sat down with both of us
and answered all the questions that had been worrying Darryn about homebirth,
he said he felt a little better but still wasn’t convinced. The birth talk was
amazing, I’m on my 3rd pregnancy and I didn’t know most of the things that were
going on inside my body, I learnt so much about birth and what was going to
happen at each stage, I cannot believe that I didn’t know this before, but that’s
the NHS for you! Darryn also said it was a really good talk and he now feels
as though he can help me through as he also knows what’s going on inside my
body and what to expect. As Darryn was still a bit worried about having a home
birth, I brought him along to a Homebirth group which one of my mums friends,
Jan, runs. He said that also helped him to hear other couples stories and was
able to ask questions without a professional answer but from a dads experience.
Mum suggested I listen to hypnotherapy Cds to help me relax which I did to prepare
for the birth, I also took herbal remedies a few days before the birth to help
with the contractions and to heal the bruising after.
Through out the pregnancy Darryn supported me although I knew he wasn’t 100% convinced, he said as long as mum was happy then so was he. I decided on a water birth as I missed out last time, mum went through the birth plan and that was my only requirement was to make sure I had my baby in the pool. Sally lent me her birth pool which we set up and practised with at 37 weeks. At 39 weeks I thought I was in labour, the contractions were quite strong but not regular, I phoned mum and told her, she said it sounded like the beginnings of labour so fill the pool up. This was at 5am, by 6.30 the noise had woken my daughter up, then it all stopped. Mum said this happens when a lady is disturbed it makes the labour stop! So that was it! For another week I was having strong Braxton hicks but nothing to shout about, my due date came and went and I was getting annoyed. The pool had been up for a week so we emptied it and left it inflated in the front room. My other kids thought it was a new addition, an indoor pool.
Then the Sunday after my due date I had strong contractions again this time
with diarrhoea which is another sign of labour, so getting all excited I phoned
mum and this time she came over and we refilled the pool, but once again it
stopped and I fell asleep! 3 days went by and nothing, then I was fast asleep
in bed with my daughter next to me as I had chucked my husband out of the room
for snoring I turned over and heard a loud popping noise inside me, I froze
as I had never heard anything like that before, I thought it could be my waters
as my belly shook but nothing else happened, then I moved and water poured out
of me, I didn’t know what to do as I couldn’t move or shout as I thought it
would wake my daughter up and it would all stop again, so I tried phoning Darryn’s
phone but still nothing, so I grabbed an Inco sheet that mum gave me to protect
the bed and wrapped it round me like a nappy and hobbled down the hallway to
wake him up. He jumped out of bed like it was on fire, I told him my waters
have broken but there is still no pain, this was at 3.50am, I went to the loo
at this point and he followed me asking whether he should phone mum, I still
wasn’t sure but as I sat on the loo I had a massive contraction, Darryn looked
at me and said I’m phoning your mum. She said start heating the pool (as it
was already filled up). She was here in 5 minutes, my sister in law Chiara,
who mum had also been midwife to, came 2 minutes later, by this time I was on
the birthing ball downstairs. Chiara phoned Sally who was on her way, Darryn
was filling the pool with hot water and I had only had 2 contractions.
Mum checked me over then asked if I had been to the loo, I said not since phoning
you which was 15 minutes before, but I felt I needed to go, as I stood up I
had an almighty contraction, all I remember from then on was mum telling Darryn
to stop with the pool as there wasn’t time, then mum saying breath as the head
is crowning, then my baby was on the floor! I was in shock it had all happened
so fast, from the moment my waters went to giving birth it took 1 hour and 17mins.
Weighing in at 9lb 7oz.
I had no time for the hypnobirthing and once again I missed having my baby in the water!
Mum covered me up and Alfie came in to see his new baby sister, I was still on the floor at this point so I was helped onto the settee where I stayed until the blood had finished passing through the cord, then Darryn cut it, Sally arrived 5 minutes too late, she helped mum write up the notes and took loads of pictures for us. I then passed the baby to her daddy as I went to the loo and delivered the placenta completely pain free. Then we all had a glass of champagne and a bacon sandwich
When I came back in I sat down to a nice cup of tea, Skye had come down and was cuddling her new sister all while mum and Alfie explored the placenta.
I was so happy it was all over and although for about 15 minutes I was in agonizing pain it was all over really quickly and really didn’t hurt at all. I believe this is because I was completely prepared for the birth and was so relaxed with the people around me and being at home. By 8am I was bathed and in bed with my new baby happily breast feeding her.
This was the perfect birth experience and it was all down to my wonderful mum.
Mia is now 4 weeks old and I am breast feeding her without any pain at all, this is down to mum who taught me how to do it properly, I had to stay in bed for 5 days which was luxury as my husband ran around after me and the other 2 kids, I felt completely relaxed, I didn’t tear so I didn’t need stitches and I was completely healed within 2 days (although the after contractions were quite painful for 5 days) when they stopped I was back to normal and back in jeans I hadn’t been able to fit in for over a year before I fell pregnant!
I feel I do not need to have another baby as I did after the others as I believe I have achieved the perfect birth, (Although I still wouldn’t mind experiencing a water birth!!!) It was an amazing experience from start to finish and I want to thank my mum for making it possible for me and I’m glad she is there to help all the other ladies to have the birth they want.
Alice & baby Jessica - Home Water birth
with Obstetric Choleostasis (OC) and Cytomegalovirus (CMV)
My first baby was born in hospital and as I felt bullied by the midwife and
put under pressure to take pethedine I decided that I would like to have a water
birth at home with a supportive midwife this time.
The pregnancy was going fine until I reached the third trimester and started
to get intense itching on my palms and soles of my feet, particularly at night.
This turned out to be obstetric choleostasis, a rare pregnancy condition that
affects the liver. There are links to stillbirth and although the latest research
suggests that these links cannot be proven they also cannot be disproved.
The baby’s heart had to be monitored regularly on CGT machines at the hospital and I was referred to an obstetrician. I started a diet low in fat and refined foods and high in protein, which anecdotally seems to help the condition. This helped me to feel like I was doing something as there is no treatment for the condition and in fact my bile acid and liver enzyme levels had started to go down towards the end of the pregnancy so it did seem to be working.
At 34 weeks I went into premature labour (a risk with the condition) and as it was so early I had to go into hospital. Fortunately the labour stopped without any intervention and after another night in hospital I was able to go home. I was very sleep deprived at this point as I was only able to get a maximum of 3 hours sleep a night due to the intense itching. Rene was a great support and said that if I made it to 36 weeks I could still have a homebirth.
I was told by the obstetrician that because my levels of bile acid and liver enzymes were so high I was not recommended for a homebirth and would be induced at 38 weeks. I decided that to have a calm home birth would be safer than a hospital birth where I would be monitored constantly and probably end up with a cascade of intervention. The doctors admitted that if something goes wrong for the baby with OC there is nothing that they can actually do so being in hospital would be no safer for the baby. Also as OC can affect the baby’s heart I felt that the most relaxed birth possible was in fact the safest thing for the baby. Rene reassured me that it was my decision and as long as I was happy to go to hospital if there was the slightest indication that something was wrong then she would be happy to deliver me at home from 36 weeks.
I then had two weeks trying to keep my legs closed as I was having contractions on and off. When I was 35 weeks and 5 days I went into labour. The labour was slow and the following day it had almost stopped. By that evening the labour started again and I was hoping I could make it to midnight and still have the homebirth.
I did make it and Rene came over about 3 am. I listened to my hypnosis cds and although I was far from being in a trance I think it helped to keep me calm and in control. I was able to cope with the contractions and it was a totally different experience from my labour with my previous child where I felt the pain was overwhelming. When Rene examined me I was 7 or 8 cm already and although she said I could get in the pool I felt I didn’t really need to at that stage as the contractions were manageable. When I did get into the pool it felt lovely. At this stage my husband said the birth was so relaxed it was boring!
A little while later Rene told me I could start to push if I felt like it. As I had no urge to push (I didn’t with my last labour either) I thought I would just try breathing the baby down to start with. But I soon realised that wasn’t going to work! At this point (6am) we heard my toddler over the monitor asking if it was time to get up yet! My mum had not yet arrived to pick her up so my husband had to go and look after her. At the same time Sally the other midwife arrived and all this disruption took me out of myself and slowed the labour down.
Eventually with Rene’s encouragement I started to feel the baby coming down with the membranes still intact but I had to push very hard to make any progress. Finally I pushed out what we thought was the head but turned out to be the membranes, which burst with a dramatic explosion! I was expecting the second baby 4 weeks early to be easy to push out but it turned out that she was OP (back to back) just like my other daughter, although just like last time I had no back pain! Rene kept me going when I felt like giving up. It is amazing the difference that having a supportive midwife can make.
After an hour of pushing Jessica Myla was finally born. After a few minutes she started to go a bit floppy and stopped breathing. As the cord was so short Rene and Sally quickly clamped the cord and took her into the other room to give her oxygen. This was a really scary moment especially with all the concerns we had over the OC but within a few seconds we heard a strong cry. She had started to cry almost immediately, before they had the chance to give her any oxygen and was back in my arms straight away.
Having a lovely home birth with Rene and spending five days in bed with Jessica really helped me to bond strongly with her. The fact that I had been through so much in the pregnancy to have her really made her feel precious. Rene came to see us every day for the first week and supported me through my anxiety over breastfeeding, which had been a major problem with my last baby.
When Jessica was 6 days old Rene phoned to say that there was another problem with my pregnancy. Not only had I had OC, I also had a virus called CMV which is harmless as long as you do not have it in pregnancy. We had to test Jessica’s urine to see if she had contracted it. The results came back and they “suggested” congenital CMV which means she contracted it in the womb. Complications that she could have or develop include hearing loss and less commonly sight loss and brain damage. At this stage when I was still dealing with all my emotions over potentially losing her in pregnancy with the OC and being hormonal I found this very hard to take. Rene has been fantastic in helping us to understand what is going on, mediating with unhelpful hospital staff and offering emotional support. I don’t know what I would have done without her. Jessica has had a brain and retina scan which have been clear of any signs of the infection and we have been seeing a paediatrician who is very happy with her development and hopes to discharge her after her next appointment when she is one. It has been a rollercoaster pregnancy and post natal period and we feel so lucky to have been so conscientiously supported through it all and to have such a beautiful happy little baby.
Natalia & baby Penny - Home Water birth
Penelope Scarlett Dearnley kicked off her contractions at about 1pm on Friday 6th November, 5 days after her ‘guess date’ of Sunday,1st and after the full moon having had no effect on the Monday. Andrew and I had gone to visit and cuddle Corrin’s son, Luca so all credit to him getting Penny off the starting block! I’d had a few bouts of period type pain that morning but nothing dramatic and it took me three goes before I realized that I was having regular contractions. By the time we got home I thought I’d better check the time they were coming and was surprised when I was checking the clock at 1.38pm, 1.48pm and 1.58pm. By 2pm I was on the phone to Rene Schwencke, our independent midwife to let her know that they seemed to be coming every ten minutes and asked how long exactly they were supposed to last for. She told me to call her back when they were lasting about 60 sec every 10 minutes. Belinda Neal, our doula was coming over at 4pm anyway for tea and she had planned to give me a head massage to try and get Penelope moving so I knew I’d be fine until she arrived anyway.
I fussed around in the dining room finalizing how I wanted my ‘birthing’ room until Andrew told me to go and have a lie down in bed and try to get some rest as I was sure to be in for hours of the latent phase of labour. Lying down was fine between contractions and I was listening to my hypnobirthing relaxation tracks but within 30min I was up and on all fours on an exercise mat at the foot of the bed! I decided I wanted to know how long the contractions were lasting so Andrew and I tried to time a contraction and they seemed to be lasting 2½ minutes. At 4pm Belinda arrived and while I could still talk to her between contractions I was convinced that I must have been timing the contractions incorrectly because they shouldn’t be this intense this quickly. Belinda told me not to worry about timing them and took the timer away saying that it didn’t matter at all how long they were lasting – Penny was getting ready!
We headed down to the dining room to start labouring with the tens machine on the birth ball and the birth chair that Andrew built played a staring role! Andrew had finished off the room for me as he knew exactly what I wanted, the lights were dimmed and the candles were out and music was playing and he’d brought down the basket of bits I’d been collecting and not had a chance to bring downstairs. From this point, time seemed to have no relevance and I have only a hazy recollection of the dark room with Belinda and Andrew helping me to focus on my breathing as each contraction got stronger and closer together. I vaguely remember Belinda now being interested in timing my contractions with Andrew as he was then sent to phone for Rene at 5.50pm. From my birth notes my contractions were lasting between 2 minutes and 3 minutes 10 seconds so I was well into established labour when Rene arrived at 6.25pm. It took 30min to complete the ante natal checks, but once that was done I was so relieved to be able to get into the birthpool at 6.45pm, it’s completely true what they say about the water providing immediate relief!
Andrew was in the pool with me pouring water over my back during each contraction which was absolutely perfect – I’m so grateful he thought to do that as it was just what I needed. Except that the water level in the pool was about an inch too high so between contractions I tried to give instructions that came out as “keep going but no splashes and don’t move the water!” Rene and Belinda thought I was hilarious but luckily Andrew was able to work out that what I meant was that if he poured the water from too high up onto my back it splashed my face and if he moved around too much he made waves and the water level got rather close to my chin!
I definitely have to say that while we had a few issues setting up our pool a week before (the first liner they sent leaked and then the filter didn’t fit the replacement liner!), it really was the most fantastic pool. We hired it from the Beautiful Birth Centre in Brighton and it was a solid wall pool with a padded rim, heater and filter. It meant we were able to set it up a couple of days before Penelope was actually due and I used it each night to relax. Each day you add one oxygenating tablet to the filter and it keeps it clean. As we’d had it up for a week, I wanted Andrew to change the water that Friday and luckily he did it first thing in the morning so it was ready again by lunch time.
Between 8pm and 9pm apparently there were fireworks going off all around our house and my contractions were still getting stronger but not getting any longer. I was still breathing through them, using my hypnobirthing techniques and nodding off between each one. Every time a contraction would start I’d wake up and think “Oh, I should have paid more attention to the lack of pain during the break!” forgetting that I’d actually been asleep (or in a deep trance). I’d been drinking lots of water but no matter what I tried I couldn’t pee – I tried visualizing, Andrew poured water to try and get me to go but nothing was working.
I got out of the pool at 9.10pm when Rene apologized and said she was going to have to do a catheter to drain my bladder as that was probably what was stopping Penny moving down. Because I had such complete trust in Rene I didn’t have to think about anything, Andrew just helped me get out of the pool and they all helped me to get onto the floor. The catheter itself wasn’t painful but being on my back was horrific, especially as I had a contraction as Rene was pressing on my tummy to drain the last of the urine. I cannot imagine the poor women that go through an entire labour on their backs – I only had to do one contraction like that and I practically growled, “get me up!” as soon as it was over. Even though later contractions were obviously more painful/intense that one is the only one that I really remember.
Staying out of the pool, I tried labouring on the birth chair and I started to get some much stronger contractions which made me a little panicky as they were so much sharper and I also had lots more pressure in my bum now. But I had great support with Belinda in front of me holding me in a sort of hug as I breathed through each contraction on her shoulder. She got Andrew to replace her after a little while and I had to tell Andrew I wanted Belinda back as she was the right height and much softer! Andrew was quite relieved actually (he said later) as his knees were killing him! We tried the labour dance and then onto the birth ball with some nipple and clitoral stimulation but I could barely feel anything when I was relaxed let alone having a contraction! But whether it worked or not, my body started giving me the message to push and by 10pm I was back in the pool.
It felt like I’d been going forever and the contractions were so intense and I started having thoughts like, ”I understand why people have caesareans” and “Gas and air might be nice, but it will take too long to get it, and it might make me feel sick.” But then I heard someone say it was 10pm and immediately I felt like, “Oh is that all, I can do this, we’ve come this far and I’ve had enough now, she’s damn well coming out now!” Rene was telling me to let go and let her come, apparently I was holding back though I was struggling to work out how I was managing to do that. There’s a fine balance of relaxing in between contractions but not allowing her to pop back up which took me a while to find.
But eventually it felt like I was being split in two which I knew was a good sign and that this was it. Looking back I didn’t realize that I had a real fear of tearing which I think is what was holding me back from just letting go and letting her come. But once I’d decided that I didn’t care and she was coming no matter what, Penelope crowned at 10.29pm, with one hand up by her face which Rene had to push back in and then she was born at 10.31pm. We have some amazing pictures of her face appearing but they are certainly not ones that are shareable!
Rene was behind me to make sure Penelope floated forward through my legs and Andrew was in front to catch her and lift her to me. Andrew was amazed that in seconds I had gone from rather out of it to kneeling holding Penny as he handed her to me and then completely alert and getting out of the pool to start biological nurturing in the nest of soft blankets, duvets and pillows we’d arranged on the floor.
Penelope took a little while to become interested in breastfeeding the biological nurturing way, she was more interested in just crawling from my tummy straight up my chest but without the detour! The cord pulsed for 20 minutes and Rene helped Andrew cut the cord, we love that we were able to keep the scissors instead of them having to be destroyed. Even though I was doing lots of pushing, the placenta still wasn’t delivering so we decided now was the time for the birth chair to come into its own. It took another hour but the chair allowed me to sit comfortably, let gravity help the placenta drop and with Penelope breastfeeding and kicking my tummy, the placenta finally delivered fully intact. I didn’t realize how intense the pushes needed to be to get it out, I had just assumed it would sort of just happen! And you’re just not prepared for how big it is! Once that was finally done and with Penny still feeding Andrew was able to feed me homemade apple muffins and orange juice while Rene had to spend ages siphoning off tiny amounts of Penny’s blood from the little veins in the placenta as it needed to be checked because I am B Rhesus negative and Andrew is O positive. We were amazed to discover the next day that Penny had managed to make her blood O negative – meaning no need for an Anti D injection and also turning her into a universal blood donor.
Penelope and I had a quick bath so I could clean up a little and then we got into bed where I was checked out and found to my relief that I hadn’t torn (even with Penny’s waving hand!). Andrew weighed Penny (face down on the scales which meant she was a lot calmer) and she was 7lbs 9½ oz and 51cm long. So in total my labour, from 1st stage to 3rd lasted 7 hours 5min which is surprising for a first but we were so well prepared and the team of support with Rene and Belinda made it the perfect birth that we had planned. It wouldn’t have happened without them both – Andrew and I are eternally grateful for them. Penelope is so calm and content after such a perfect birth, its almost like she doesn’t even know she’s been born!
I was expecting Penelope to be on a 45min sleep cycle so I was really surprised to find that she sleeps in consistent chunks with our last feed finishing at about 10.30pm/11.00pm, wake for a wee and a feed around 2am and a wee and/or poo and feed at 5am before finally waking again between 7.30am/8am for another wee and feed. We’re practicing Elimination Communication which is about recognizing and responding to elimination needs as well as the hunger, sleep etc needs which culturally are the norm in western society. So we’ve been observing her patterns and signals and on Day 8 I offered her the potty with the cue sound which is “pssst” when she farted (and woke me up as she sleeps on my chest) at 5.45am and we caught a wee and a poo! As she hadn’t been disturbed by feeling a flat, wet prefold underneath her for a few seconds (which she hates) after a quick wipe of her bottom she went straight back to sleep. I had to wake Andrew to share my excitement as he had slept through the entire thing! Since then, I offer her the potty and cue sound roughly every half hour if she’s awake and definitely as she stirs from every nap and she goes almost every time. If she’s not ready, she’s just relaxed in the ‘in arms’ position and if something’s building she’ll have stiff legs, a little grizzle and pulls a real frown and waves her left arm (particularly if it’s a poo!) Sometimes she gives me such a big smile after she’s been, its incredibly obvious how much she prefers going in the squatting ‘in arms’ position.
The next thing we have to practice now is lying on her back as she’s not used to it being always on me or Andrew in bed or in the sling. While Rene has the most fantastic rules of 5 days in bed (with no visitors!), I only started going downstairs with Penelope on Day 8 – it’s much nicer skin-to-skin in bed all day! Maybe next week we’ll even try clothes!
Sophie & baby Sebastian - Home Water birth
When I found out I was expecting a baby, I was completely in the dark about the world of pregnancy, birth and motherhood. None of my friends have children, I have no young cousins, and until this year had no nephews or nieces. Basically, I had absolutely no idea. However, what I did know was that I was a cautious person and wanted a mainstream birth experience with the least amount of pain possible. Low risk and no pain surely meant a hospital birth with an epidural? Well, believe it or not (and those who know me well still do not believe it), I ended up having a wonderful water birth at home with the help of hypnotherapy, and that is all down to Rene and her support! I could not have asked for a better birth experience.
My initial session with Rene was really comforting and informative and I immediately felt that enlisting Rene’s help would ensure a better birth experience by having a familiar face throughout. So far, the majority of my ante-natal appointments had been during work hours and for me alone; my husband Freddie hadn’t really been involved although he was very keen to play a big part in my pregnancy. The fact that Rene offered appointments when it suited us as a couple made a huge difference and meant that Freddie and the bump could bond well before D-day and the years beyond. On top of that, Rene was very generous with her time and we both felt we could contact her at any moment and she seemed only too happy to help or pop over if we wanted her to.
Rene’s manner was brilliant throughout and she was so knowledgeable that it was not long until she had earned my trust completely. I think this is how I ended up considering the idea of a home birth. Although Rene was fully supportive of me choosing to have a hospital birth, I became more and more intrigued about having a birth with as little intervention as possible. It took me a long time to seriously consider having one myself mainly because of the fact that it wasn’t the social norm. I imagined that there would be a reason for this. Surely giving birth was dangerous, or else people wouldn’t routinely go to hospital for it? Surely the pain was horrendous and that’s why so many people ended up having epidurals? There must have been a reason that people always said that childbirth would be the most painful thing I would ever experience and that my doctor friends insisted that a home birth was dangerous and to consider it would be to put myself and my unborn baby at unnecessary risk.
As my pregnancy progressed and I asked Rene more and more questions about the birth process, I started to see the logic in Rene’s way of thinking. Non-intervention seemed to make a lot of sense to me. However, I didn’t know whether I had the guts to have a home birth. A huge part of me still clung on to that hospital birth and the king of pain relief, the epidural. As Rene pointed out, I would never have to make a decision to go for it as I would have a hospital bag packed anyway, and would stay at home with Rene for as long as possible during the beginning of labour, then if I felt like it I could transfer in to hospital, or if I wanted to, I could stay at home. I bought a birthing pool as it seemed like a good method of pain relief, but was adamant that I wouldn’t give birth in the water, though Rene said to me at the time “Ok, but once you get into the water you won’t want to get out!” That was as much as I had decided by the time my due date arrived.
I had been having cramps on and off for about 2 weeks prior to my due date,
so when I got similar cramps one Monday morning, I thought nothing of it. I
attached the Tens machine to my back and tried to get some sleep as Rene had
advised. A couple of hours later (and not a wink of sleep since), lying down
became too uncomfortable and so I tip-toed downstairs to walk around and roll
on the swiss ball. The pain seemed to be getting worse but I still wasn’t 100%
sure that I was in labour. I woke up Freddie at 5.30am feeling terribly guilty.
“I know you have to go to work today but I’m in quite a lot of pain”. We dithered
for a while and eventually decided to call Rene. Rene asked some questions which
I answered most unhelpfully. I’m in quite a lot of pain, I think I’m having
contractions but I’m not sure, I don’t know how far apart they are and how long
they’re lasting (though I think I made something up because I honestly had no
concept of time by that point).
Rene said she would drive over “just to check”. By the time she arrived, it
was about 7.00am. I felt like I really wasn’t coping very well with the pain
and had decided in my head that I would indeed need to go to hospital for an
epidural. If this was pre-labour, there was no way that I’d be able to cope
when things really got going. I needed to know how far my labour had progressed
before voicing my thoughts. Rene agreed to examine me and to our amazement I
was 8cm dilated! I decided I definitely was NOT going to go to hospital.
Rene called down to Freddie to fill the pool and called Sally to come over. Once the pool had been filled, I got in and the feeling was incredible. I couldn’t believe the effect it had – it was as if all the pain had washed away. The hypnotherapy CD was playing in the background. Rene had suggested the CD to me about 6 weeks before and I had been listening to it every day though was very cynical about it- hypnosis is really not my thing, but I had to eat my words as I fell asleep between contractions (though I wasn’t aware of this at the time – I was told afterwards) and felt very relaxed. The second stage of labour was surreal and I don’t remember it particularly clearly, though I remember clinging on to Rene for dear life (I hope my nail marks have disappeared from her arms) and that having Freddie standing next to the pool was incredibly distracting and I had ordered him out of the room. This is something that Rene had talked to us about, and Freddie and I had discussed with each other, so he was prepared for this. About 8 hours after I had woken up with the initial cramps, our gorgeous son Sebastian was born. The pain had been completely manageable thanks to the incredible support of Rene and Sally – a truly brilliant team.
My placenta took over two hours to deliver and I had to have an injection of synthetic hormone to help it along, but Rene gave me the choice (this would be done as standard in hospital) and explained the effects and consequences before I decided to have it. Following the birth, Rene and Sally checked me, drew me a bath which I lay in with Sebastian while we both learned how to breastfeed. Freddie, Sebastian and I then got into bed and spent the afternoon snuggled up together in post-birth bliss. This was a huge factor which drew me to having a home birth – the fact that Freddie would be there to look after us from the minute our baby was born, not wasting his paternity leave twiddling his thumbs at home due to restrictive visiting hours while we were stuck in hospital alone.
The weeks after Sebastian was born were overwhelming but I felt I could always contact Rene with the most basic questions. Having not had any contact with babies before, it was reassuring to have someone physically there to tell me that the rotting cord stump looked normal, that the rash on his tummy was just a result of a tight nappy and not meningitis or some other similarly frightening ailment. There’s only so much comfort you can get from a book.
I was dreading the day that Rene was to discharge us, but we have kept in touch
and I have spoken to her a few times for a second opinion and she has been only
too happy to help me. Compared to most other birth experiences I have heard
about, I think mine was one of the most relaxed and positive ones and I believe
it’s all down to the hours of preparation and education from Rene and the wonderful
support and trust that developed over the ante-natal period.
Freddies' Story of baby Sebastian
We are not a particularly anxious couple and as such we rather floated through the first four and a half months of Soph’s pregnancy with Soph doing all the recommended things (no alcohol, gooey cheeses, cured meats or raw fish) while assuming she would end up at QEH (Woolwich) having the standard ‘TV’ birth involving maximum intervention and an epidural (as and when the pain became too excruciating). This is not to say we did not read up on pregnancy and all its trappings extensively, but we focused on the uncontroversial pages and methods – those spoon fed to us day to day by the media. As two lawyers we are, by nature, hugely cautious and assumed that birth would be an event involving numerous hands on medical staff because we (or at least I) assumed that was the best way to minimise the risks involved.
So, quite how Soph ended up giving birth in a pool in our basement with just two midwives, a hypnosis cd and our two cats watching through the window probably needs some explanation.
It all started one morning at the end of April when I bumped into our neighbour (who also happened to be a colleague) coming out of her house, proceeded by a beaming baby boy in a little blue bugaboo. A few superlatives later I mentioned that Soph was pregnant, so we had all this to look forward to. Within the five minute walk to the station I had been assured that having an independent mid-wife would make our lives so much more manageable – particularly after the birth and that it was worth contacting Rene for an initial consultation. Judging by said neighbour’s smiling, cooing baby I decided it may be no bad thing to make at least some preparation for the coming months – little thinking we would come to embrace a whole new ethos…
Having decided in our heads that this actually was a very good idea, we met Rene and began a ritual of tea, biscuits and birth/baby preparation which was to prove invaluable. No longer was this just Soph’s pregnancy, but suddenly I became a part of it – lapping up the new terminology and concepts that were bandied about during these sessions. I could be there for the numerous discussions and formulate my own views which Soph and I could then discuss over the coming weeks and months. Each mile stone became more exciting than the last – Rene suggested something would happen in the next week and duly , by her next appointment it would have. I was excited about being an involved father even before the birth, but did not imagine that the pregnancy could be such a team experience.
As time went on Rene helped to open our minds so that we were as well informed as possible and could eventually make what we deemed to be the ‘right’ decision. In fact, the first time we listened to the hypnosis cd, it was me who bought into it while Soph sniggered and erroneously declared it to be ridiculous and ineffectual.
During the months which followed our initial consultation, our trust for Rene grew and grew to the extent that even the endless nay-sayers who told us we would never go through with a home birth (which was what we were leaning towards) no longer perturbed us.
Things went smoothly as our due date approached. A little too smoothly. The due date came and went without the slightest sign that Baby B was on his way. This was worrying because it could lead to what was now the dreaded ‘intervention’. Having originally convinced ourselves Baby B would be early, by the weekend (3 days post due date) we had given up waiting and decided to begin socialising again. This was partly a cunning ploy so I could play in the Greenwich tennis tournament on the Saturday and Sunday but also a way of reducing the stress of waiting for the unkown.
So to Sunday night – September 13th. Following two exhausting days of tennis, I was soundly sleeping when at 3am, Soph turned on the light complaining of a stomach ache. Being tired, I assured her it was nothing and returned to my reveries. However, at 5.30am, the main light came on to reveal Soph in quite a bit of pain – “if this is pre-labour then I’m definitely going to hospital ad having the drugs.” Assuming it was indeed pre-labour , I leisurely got out of bed and called Rene to say something was happening although it was not at regular intervals. Between the three of us, we just about decided Rene should come over and have a look.
During the next hour I made some coffee and began pumping up the birth pool – just in case. Rene arrived at 7am and sat with Soph until I heard my name shouted at 8.15. “Fill the birth pool – I’ve just examined her and she’s 8cm dilated” came a rather surprised voice from upstairs. Birth pool full, Soph gingerly made her way to the basement. However, her grimace immediately evaporated on entry into the pool. “Oh my god, that is the most amazing feeling.”
The ensuing hours were surreal. While the hypnosis cd played in the background, Soph lay in the pool semi-asleep except during her contractions and I sat upstairs watching ski dvds. She was keen that just Rene and Sally should be with her during this time (something I had expected and had learnt from the numerous pregnancy tomes in the nursery is very common). The atmosphere in the basement was one of utter tranquility and when Sebastian forced his way into this world at 11.35am on 14 September he was entering the kind of environment I could not even have dreamed of. He was immediately placed on Soph’s breast and fed as though he had done it a thousand times before. He had arrived in the most natural way possible thanks to a wonderful mother and in Rene and Sally surrounded by the most dedicated and sagacious team imaginable. It was hard to believe that just a few hours after his birth we were tucked up in our bedroom with Sebastian lying alternately on our chests while the five of us sipped champagne and watched his every move.
By way of postscript, for those of a more squeamish disposition, you will be
surprised to learn that the birth pool was almost completely clear following
the delivery and the house was not the medical mess that many had warned me
to expect!
Zoe & baby Sean - Home Water birth
I started looking for an independent midwife after the first two appointments at my local hospital left me feeling confused and frustrated. Long waits for appointments (on one occasion three hours), cancelled appointments and difficulty in getting information made me realize I was not going receive the continuity of care that I wanted during my pregnancy.
I found Independent Midwives on the internet. Renee visited us at home outside of working hours and explained the service she and Sally provide. Both Paul (my husband) and I were impressed by Renee’s professional approach and willingness to outline all our options in an unbiased, non-judgemental way. We decided on a water birth at home. Renee provided all the information we needed and answered all the questions that we had as first time parents. She dealt everything from informing the hospital that I had an independent midwife to taking blood tests at home.
My waters broke a week before my estimated due date about 5.30 in the evening. We kept in touch with Renee throughout the night and even managed to get some sleep as she suggested. Paul called Renee at 5.00 am to say my contractions were every three minutes and lasting for over a minute. Renee arrived half an hour later and showed me how to use the boost function on the tens machine making it even more effective.
At about 7.30 Renee examined me and said I could get into the pool. I had been told that the water was good for pain relief and it worked brilliantly for me; helping with the pain during contractions and relaxing me between contractions. Sean was born at 12.05 with plenty of help and encouragement from Renee and Sally.
Over the next 30 days Paul, Sean and I all really benefited my Renee’s help. The reassurance of knowing that Renee was either on the end of the phone or would shortly be arriving for an appointment was priceless. It is only now, with the benefit of a bit more sleep and having met other mums with babies the same age that I really appreciated how much help and support Renee provided.
And a story from Dad - Paul below ......
Pauls' Story of baby Sean
I should say from the outset that the most prevalent emotion throughout Zoe,my wife’s, pregnancy was fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of the safety of my wife and my unborn child dominated my emotions more than the excitement of becoming a father for the first time. I suspect that this is all very normal and was my initial response on how I wanted to cope with Zoë’s pregnancy, which was to let the medical professionals take charge. After all they are meant to know what’s best…
In truth if the NHS had shown itself to be any good, or even remotely responsive to our needs I would probably have encouraged my wife to let the medical professionals have their way. However the NHS proved itself to a slow moving blunt instrument, heavy handed, and wholly focussed on the health risks of pregnancy. We were given appointments that were cancelled without notice, and we endured hours of waiting for blood tests or scans. The more normal the pregnancy the less interested the medical professionals became, which in hindsight is reassuring, but at the time just seemed to add up to a whole lead of stress without any benefit.
Within a short period of time both Zoe and I concluded that being a number in the NHS pregnancy queue was not working for either of us. Eventually I suggested going private, but Zoe came up with the idea of engaging an independent midwife - Renee. In truth I had no idea that you could employ an independent midwife, but from the time we engaged Renee, I started to really enjoy the pregnancy. Zoe was in the hands of medical professional who visited regularly and who was on call constantly to advise us not only on the pregnancy itself but also n our options for the birth. There were no missed appointments and the advice was all very practical and rational and not all new age. I should also stress that while a home birth was the ultimate goal, for this to happen the pregnancy had to progress safely and it was not until week 38 that it become clear that we would get the chance to have a home birth.
My actual memories of the birth are as follows. The house was very calm especially the room where we had the birth pool. Zoe was a completely focussed on giving birth and she was being quietly supported by Renee. I should point out that we actually had two highly experience midwives with us for the virtually the whole of the birth and I defy anyone to try and tell me that Zoe and our as yet unborn child were not in the best possible hands. The net result was that our son Sean was born quietly and with fuss or stress some 12 hours after Zoe went into labour. Just as importantly Zoe had the labour she had so badly wanted and which seemed so difficult for the NHS to provide.
Of course the support of Renee did not stop with the birth, but she was visiting and on hand for the next month to help guide us through the initial stages of parenthood. As first time parents her insights and advice during this time were invaluable.
All in all, and at a very person level, having and independent midwife, and a home birth worked for me both as a husband and a father. I did not feel that my wife lacked care, or that undue risks were being taken with my son’s welfare. On the contrary, I feel that my wife and had the highest levels of care, and pragmatic and uncomplicated approach to the pregnancy led to a birth with positive memories and of course the legacy of beautiful son.
Kirsty & baby Andrew - Hospital Breech Caesarean
"By the time I conceived I had gotten myself worked up into a real state
about the standard of maternity care in London I was desperate to find a solution.
When the midwife at my local GP's mentioned Rene I was thrilled and got on the
phone straight away. My husband was also thrilled that I had found a solution
and could stop complaining about how "terrible" it was to be pregnant
in London.
During the months that followed I was so pleased to have Rene there and by the
end of my pregnancy I was well and truly looking forward to giving birth (a
far cry from my state of mind when I first discovered I was pregnant). Rene
immediately appreciated that I liked having ALL the facts and had a never-ending
supply of resources and books that I could read for myself, to back up the information
she imparted during our regular appointments. Due to the nature of my job, Rene's
ability to fit appointments in around my schedule was fantastic and took away
a lot of the stress of being pregnant and trying to work full time in the City.
My pregnancy went very smoothly; no morning sickness, no real aches and pains
and right up until the end I enjoyed aqua aerobics, yoga and pilates. I felt
great!
Towards the end, I was a bit worried that "Charlie" (as we called
Andrew) didn't seem to move much - I called Rene one evening and she came around
to see me at home straight away. She thought Charlie was a bit quiet too; I
went to hospital, was monitored and assured that everything was fine. It just
seemed that "Charlie" was quite content to hang out and not wriggle
about like most babies. Charlie was also breech but I thought that we had a
fair amount of time to move him so I persevered with moxibustion, acupuncture
and watching tv on all fours. He did move but one night I felt him make an out
of character wriggle and I had a sneaking suspicion that he had flipped back
into breech position.
I was coming up to 36 weeks when Rene suggested I go in for a scan to check
Charlie's position but I was too busy at work (!) so I decided to go in the
following week and had an appointment with Rene scheduled on Monday night to
discuss our options. We had a busy weekend constructing flatpack nursery furniture
and raiding Mothercare and John Lewis and I finally thought that we were ready
for the baby now that we had the cot up. Sure enough, I woke up at 4am thinking
I had wet the bed...just to be sure I called Rene who talked things through
with me and gently suggested that my waters had probably broken. Argh! I hadn't
packed my hospital bag so it was a mad rush trying to pack things while the
whole time not really accepting that I was possibly about to have my baby nearly
4 weeks early.
At the hospital they confirmed that I was indeed leaking amniotic fluid and
a portable scan revealed that Charlie was back in his favourite breech position.
Rene arrived shortly after and we set about discussing what we wanted to do.
Rene had given me enough information for me to feel confident enough to request
a natural labour despite the breech presentation. This caused a bit of a flurry
with the staff and during ward rounds I had the head consultant, registrar,
several midwives, medical students etc all in my room trying to convince me
that c-section was the only option for breech birth. The consultant even printed
off a medical journal article for me to read (he too realised that I liked to
be fully informed!). With Rene by my side, I felt confident in what could have
been a very intimidating situation. Rene, my husband and I were left alone to
weigh things up and decided on our course of action. However, as a more detailed
scan then revealed that Charlie was in fact in a footling breech position, a
C-section was the most realistic option - but it was fantastic to have Rene
there to explain to me exactly what that meant and why a c-section was the safest
form of delivery for this particular breech position. All day I had been having
gentle contractions which would stop whenever a Dr came into my room and start
again when it was just me, Rene and my husband! I was being monitored and the
machines did not show that I was having contractions but I knew that I was...sure
enough when I had an internal exam I was 5cm dilated and I was rushed in for
an emergency C-section. Unfortunately, due to the policy of the particular hospital
I was at, I could only have one person in theatre with me so my husband was
holding my hand when Andrew arrived. Andrew didn't breathe for a few minutes
and didn't make the cries I was expecting so I was pretty scared right up until
the moment he was eventually brought over to me.
Rene was there waiting for us in recovery and quickly unwrapped Andrew from
his swaddling and put him on my chest so we could have skin to skin contact
and start breastfeeding. Seven months on, Andrew is a chilled-out, happy baby
and still exclusively breastfed (and has more than tripled his birth weight)
- my success with breastfeeding I attribute solely to Rene's expertise, support
and encouragement. Rene's postnatal care was a godsend and both my husband and
I will be forever grateful for her many many visits in the weeks following Andrew's
birth. I now encourage all expectant parents I meet to engage an independent
midwife (and ideally Rene), if only for the one-on-one post-natal care which
is so essential but sadly lacking within the NHS."
Ruth & baby Frank - Home Breech
My birth story. Home Breech birth.
Hmm right I think this must be it! 7.30am Saturday 22nd November. Sharp pains
very low down, not the same as my last labour , so I just kept it to myself
and carried on! But by 9am the pains were more frequent and I'd had a show,
and lots of diarrhoea! I mentioned this to my husband who said 'Oh right – I'm
going outside with Wilf (our first son – now two also delivered by Rene at home)
to mow the lawn'! Typical!
I decided to have a bath and slowly get myself ready.
By 10am things were definitely moving the contractions were approx. 5 minutes
apart and getting more painful. I rang Rene to let her know, she was (as always)
extremely calm and told me to let her know how things go.
I rang my sister in law who offered to look after Wilf when the day or night
came! She said that her second baby had come really quickly and that I should
get Wilf to her asap. Well things started to go mad from that moment on.
My mum came over to be with me whilst Nick took Wilf to drop him off.
Mum took one look at me having a contraction and asked what time Rene was coming?
I told her I hadn't asked her to come yet! I then rang Rene straight away and
she said she would leave now and be with me soon.
Well the next hour was like a comedy sketch. Mum asked what could she do to help, so whilst she was upstairs changing my bed, I was downstairs trying to get the room sorted out. I needed to move all the furniture around and get the plastic sheeting on the floor ready for the birth pool, all the while having to stop every few minutes during a contraction! Rene rang to say that Nick should be filling the pool now! I didn't tell her that he wasn't even here and that the pool was still in the garage! Mum appeared then and said could she get the pool out the garage? Well the pool is quite large and it was pumped up ( thank goodness I had at least insisted that was done – a few days earlier!) and my mum is not much over 5 foot tall! The day was fairly cold and blustery and as she appeared trying to hold the pool I had visions of her taking off and my pool ending up in a nearby field! Instead she tried to bounce it along the gravel outside, so then I had visions of the pool being punctured!
Well I think Nick arrived back then (he had even managed to stop off at the shop!) and he starting filling the pool. Rene arrived about 12 noon along with my sister (a homoeopath) who was to be with me during the birth.
By this time I really thought things were going along quickly and I felt it wouldn't be long before I met by baby! I was using the birth ball to lean on during contractions. I asked Rene to help me focus on opening up, because I remember last time I felt like keeping my baby inside rather than pushing him out! She was great and talked me through each contraction and I really did relax – I felt totally calm and in another place, and I was able to cope with each contraction. I now wanted to get into the pool (which was almost ready!). It is such a wonderful feeling getting into a lovely warm pool and I was feeling very relaxed.
Things were going along fine and contractions were getting stronger and lasting a lot longer. Rene had called Sally to come and all of us felt the end was near!
But then I started to feel that things seemed to be slowing down and I was desperate that 'Frank' (convinced we were having another boy) be here before 'strictly come dancing' started! I also felt that my tummy shape was a little strange, I can't explain in words it was more feelings that were strange to me. I remember saying to Rene is there something wrong – it seems to be taking too long, considering we all thought 'Franks' arrival was imminent about 3 hours ago! I was also aware that I hadn't passed any urine for some time and that it was difficult. So we decided to get me out of the pool and try and go upstairs on the loo, which I managed to do. Rene suggested an examination – which I agreed to. We were then surprised that I was only 9cms dilated, and apparently my membranes were bulging because my water had not yet broken. Rene encouraged me to stay up and mobile and the contractions seemed stronger and I started to really feel the urge to push!
I then wanted to kneel down in front of the sofa – it was at this point that I just felt I couldn't carry on it was extremely painful and I felt that nothing was happening. And that is when Rene said that she could see the head with each contraction. I was now in a squatting position with my sister and Nick on either side and Rene had placed a mirror so that I could see the head. I gave another push and Rene suddenly said 'we have a breech', at that moment my heart leapt into my mouth! The mood in the room changed Rene instantly told me to do exactly what she said. She told me get onto all fours not leaning on Nick ! I felt very scared but also very focused to push my baby out it was all up to me now. 'Franks' bottom came out followed by his legs – I will always remember looking through my legs and seeing his body and legs just hanging there – time seemed to stretch on forever but it was only minutes – I was very aware that I now had the task of pushing his head out and I can say now that at the time it felt very much like a life and death situation. I remember screaming with those final contractions and those screams came from very deep within. Then finally the head was out and Rene instantly had him on the floor and was rubbing him – but Frank wasn't breathing- I was being re -assured by sally that his heart beat was still fine and he was still attached to me and he had a good pink colour – but those minutes felt like a lifetime. Then finally after 5 minutes he started to breath! I cannot even attempt to put into words how I felt at that moment (it makes me cry now to remember it all) but the love I have for my precious boy is indescribable!
I know we were all in shock – and we needed to keep chatting about the birth, my sister found the whole experience amazing and was so glad to be there. I felt overwhelmed and so so grateful to Rene who was wonderful and calm the whole way through.
I have to finish by saying that I am absolutely privileged to have had a breech birth at home. The literature that I have since read indicates that I am in a 1% category of women giving birth to a breech baby and extremely fortunate to have done this at home. I am now aware that I had 'a text book' birth, and that breech babies very often take a while to breath!
However I will say that I am staggered by 'peoples' reaction to my birth. Friends, family and strangers don't often believe my birth story and almost laugh in disbelief that I had a wonderful breech birth at home without any pain relief. They sometimes like to give their unwanted opinion of what should have happened! One person even said that I was stupid and my midwife ignorant for not taking me to hospital, and for putting my baby under undue stress! How little do they know!!
I can't stress enough my admiration and thanks to Rene for being so amazing and such a terrific midwife and now friend.
Evie & baby Ellie - Homebirth
First birth
(36ish hours pre-labour and 18 hours active labour)
I don’t remember labour being as painful as it sounds in my notes – or as painful for so long! I can’t wait to go through pregnancy and labour again! Thrilled I did it without drugs and only a little gas and air (which I didn’t like).
It was much better/less painful than I had expected. I was surprised that the mucous plug came away in bits rather than at one go. Struck by how ‘3D’ the pains were internally – I remember Dorothy talking me through a contraction early on and I could see an ‘0’ in my mind’s eye – it was fascinating. In fact I found the whole labour fascinating. I think I hallucinated at times – could see blue and green colours. Could hear Trevor and Dorothy talking but I was so far away a lot of the time. I loved being warm, loved the heated pad they put on my back. I only realised over a week after labour that there was a boost button on the TENS machine!
Trevor was wonderful – but I remember feeling very annoyed that he had fallen asleep when it hadbegun to get very painful for me. Hated the internals, particularly the last one, but I’m pleased I had them. Pushing was wonderful. I felt in control throughput, apart from the period where I needed the entonox. I began to be overwhelmed then. I remember Dorothy being thrilled with my long, painful contractions – her enthusiasm was not that infectious! Was surprised to find that I could lie down in bed and actually doze off between contractions. I hadn’t realised how tiring labour would be. I enjoyed watching videos and walking around the house in early labour, beginning to withdraw. I wish I’d had the energy to watch Ellie’s head coming out – but I was too shattered. I was surprised that I just knew when to push. I was shocked to find I was pushing for over 1 hour because I thought it was only 15 minutes. We will always remember Ellie on the towel, a bit bloody, eyes open, cord around her body. Fantastic support from Dorothy. I feel very nostalgic for the birth and the first week. I’m very grateful for my birth record. Feel very privileged to have had Dorothy attending – it was the best birth I could possibly have had.
Annette & baby Edward - Home Breech
Pregnancy
I wanted to have a home birth because thus far in life I have avoided going
to hospital and I wanted to maintain that record for as long as possible, but
that wasn’t my only motivation. Having my baby at home and as naturally as possible
just felt like the right thing to do. It was a sort of instinct. Still we had
our doubts; what if something went wrong and as I was a first time Mum maybe
I should go to hospital, just to be on the safe side. Sally and Rene completely
won us over at our initial consultation, assuring us that first time mums are
ideal candidates for home births. They really inspired us, so we booked them
the same day. We knew we had made the right decision with each of Sally’s visits.
Her ante-natal care and the time she took to reassure us at every stage were
wonderful. The best part of each visit was listening to the baby’s heart beat,
not just because that is incredibly special and comforting but because seeing
Sally’s face light up at the sound of the little life she would bring into the
world, really helped me to look forward to the birth experience in her care.
PROM...
...Premature Rupture of Membranes! My waters went at 8.45am on Tuesday 25th
November. I was making our bed when I felt a trickle of water. “Great!” I thought,
“39 weeks of trouble free pregnancy, and now my pelvic floor gives way!” I tidied
myself up, but as soon as I had, it happened again. Two or three trickles later
and I was panicking in a heap on the bathroom floor. I wasn’t afraid of giving
birth; Sally had reassured me on that front; I was worried I might have to go
to hospital because the builders were downstairs and our birthing room didn’t
have any heating; something of a prerequisite for a home-birth!
I tried contacting husband, Dave, but he wasn’t available at first so, in a desperate bid to avoid going to hospital, I called the plumber. In hindsight I should have phoned Sally! I intended to be calm, but when the plumber answered his phone, I wailed "you have to get here now, I'm having the baby!" I eventually explained I needed him to fix the heating rather than deliver the child! He did a sterling job and by 6pm our house was toasty warm. Dave had shooed away the builders, put up some makeshift curtains, filled the birth pool and transformed our half painted extension into a very presentable birthing room. Sally visited in the evening and said everything should get going in the next few hours.
On Wednesday morning Sally visited and told us about the NHS guidelines on
going to hospital within a certain time of membranes rupturing. The guidelines
were not helpful; some said we should go in within 24 hours, some said 48 hours,
the head of midwifery at our hospital said 72 hours, and yet other guidelines
said 96 hours, after the waters go. We decided to monitor my temperature every
four hours to check for infection and, providing all was well, to stay at home
as long as possible. Sally recommended I keep mobile and she gave me the number
of a local reflexologist whose treatments had got some of her other ladies into
labour. The reflexologist was marvellous, but despite her best efforts, a long
walk, a hot curry and fresh pineapple, I went to bed without feeling the slightest
twinge.
By midday on Thursday there was still no sign of the baby other than an ever
present trickle. Cue an appointment with one of Sally and Rene’s colleagues,
Glenis Paulette, another independent midwife but also a trained acupuncturist
and homeopath. On Thursday evening Glenis performed some acupuncture and gave
me homeopathic drops to take hourly with water. She also taught Dave how to
move my bump much like a human yo-yo. This involved me going on all fours while
Dave held the ends of a sarong under the bump and yo-yoed it from side to side!
The theory is that that helps to move the baby which in turn helps to start
contractions. Perhaps it worked, or perhaps it was the madras I opted for that
evening, because a little before 1a.m. on Friday I felt my first contraction.
At last!
The contractions were fairly irregular all day but given they had started so early on, we felt sure we would have our baby before the day was out. Sally visited at lunchtime and again advised me to stay upright and mobile to help move everything along. She also recommended we go for a walk, which seemed impossible at the time, but I think it helped take our minds off the waiting, which was all a little tiresome by this stage. I found the contractions intense when they came, but I was pretty relaxed in between each one. We walked to our local Boots to ask about hiring a TENS machine. I didn't think I'd need a TENS because I'd heard they don't work on everyone, but I figured it wouldn't do any harm to have it to hand, and we needed the walk out. When we got to the shop, the assistant asked when our baby was due. When Dave said “anytime now”, she looked shocked, but not half as shocked as when I had a contraction whilst standing at the counter and gripped onto Dave’s arm for dear life. Contraction over, we continued on our walk and browsed the bargains in Woolworths before heading to Costa for a coffee (and more hand and arm squeezing for Dave).
By midnight the contractions while more intense were less frequent than earlier and I was anxious I would have to transfer to hospital if the labour stopped altogether. Dave phoned Sally. We were both feeling quite desperate. She said I should take a paracetamol (!) and go to bed. In hindsight I think this was a cunning ploy to shock me into established labour! She’s good like that, ole Sal!
The birth
No sooner had I climbed into bed, than the pain stepped up several notches.
At 1.20 a.m. on Saturday Dave called Sally again explaining that my contractions
had been coming every five minutes or less for the last forty minutes. She arrived
around 2 a.m. and immediately helped me get my breathing under control. When
Sally examined me she said she wasn’t entirely sure what she was feeling, but
she thought I was ready to get in the pool. Sally later confessed she’d had
her suspicions that she might not have been feeling the baby’s head, but she
didn’t want to alarm us. She told me not to push, but the urge to do so was
overwhelming. No wonder it had been so very intense; Sally later reckoned I
went from maybe 3 or 4cm to being fully dilated in a little over an hour. That
would explain why Dave had had to crank up the TENS machine (so glad we got
that) from its lowest setting to one that nearly sent me into orbit!
Rene was off duty that night so Sally was helped by Glenis who had visited earlier
in the week. She arrived around 3.45am. I had been in the pool and pushing since
3.00am. The gas and air which Sally set up, was more of a hindrance than a help,
so she and Dave took it away. I hadn’t reckoned on the birth being quite that
natural!
When I got into the pool, the intense pain of the earlier contractions was replaced
by regular urges to push. I kneeled at the edge of the pool and tried to get
as low down in the water as possible, resting my head and hands on the side.
I was very aware of everything that was happening around me. I could hear Sally,
Glenis and Dave talking and I could see them moving around, but I didn’t feel
a part of what they were doing. Sally monitored the baby’s heartbeat every few
minutes and, as had been the case throughout my pregnancy, the baby was very
relaxed. Sally said she could see the head. She said there must be a lot of
wax because it was very white. Dave was knelt at the side of the pool, pushing
strands of hair from my face. I made a lot of noise. I actually mooed like a
cow (!) but it really helped me put as much oomph as possible into each push.
Sally said I was doing brilliantly and that our baby would be with us very soon,
but I felt frustrated that the pushing seemed to be taking such a long time,
although I now realise it wasn’t that long at all. I had a lot of mixed thoughts.
I dreaded each push, but as soon as one was over I was both anxious and eager
for the next one to start. I remember inwardly questioning: “will I ever be
able to do this and, if so, will I be able to do it again one day; how could
I ever put myself through this again?” Yet I also thought back to Sally’s birth
talk when she explained that the gentle rocking of the baby, in and out, minimises
the risk of tearing, so it’s no bad thing to push for quite a while.
Quite a shock then when at 4.12am Sally changed the tone of her voice, broke through my thoughts and said "that's not the head; it's the bottom” and asked me to get out of the pool immediately. I felt a scratchy, stinging sensation and I shouted out that it hurt, but with the midwives’ help I got out of the pool and went on all fours. The baby’s bottom, legs and torso were born very quickly and although things weren’t going to plan, somehow I knew all would be well as long as Sally and Glenis were there. When I looked between my legs I could see we had a baby boy. At 4.15am his arms were born. I could see he was dangling by his neck and in my confusion I couldn’t understand why Sally didn’t pull the baby’s head out, but of course she couldn’t do that. I had to muster up the energy to push his head out with the next contraction. My contractions were slowing and as hard as I pushed, the head wasn’t coming. Glenis gave me a homeopathic pill to help keep the contractions going and Sally told me I had to do it on the next one. I pushed with every ounce of energy left in me. It sounds melodramatic, but I actually began to think it wouldn’t matter if I died there and then. With that final push, at 4.18 on Saturday morning, Edward was born.
He was quite grey at first and he didn't breathe by himself for a couple of
minutes. My heart was in my mouth waiting to hear his cry. The silence was awful,
but Sally and Glenis were busy working on Edward. Dave kept telling me he was
still attached to the cord and his heart beat, which Sally was monitoring, was
good. After a couple of minutes Edward whimpered and started to pink up. Before
we knew it he let out his first hearty cries; music to our ears! Sally put Edward
in my arms. He felt and looked so small and vulnerable; what I had just done
and what I had been through were immediately pushed to the back of my mind,
the pain had completely disappeared. Edward was all that mattered.
Sally waited for the cord to stop pulsating before she helped Dave to cut it
– around 4.30am. I think Glenis, Dave and I were all surprised that Edward was
a good 7lbs 7oz, because he looked smaller, but Sally had always predicted he
would be seven and a half pounds. I only had one minor tear and it healed really
well without any stitches, something that really impressed our health visitor
when she visited three weeks later. I remember her remarking on how mobile I
was even though I’d had a breech birth. My recovery was much speedier than I
thought it would be; I really felt fine after just a couple of days.
By 5.30am we had moved to the lounge where Dave lit the fire. He made himself and the midwives bacon sandwiches and I enjoyed plain toast with the best cup of tea I have ever had. Sally and Glenis helped me to feed Edward for the first time. He latched on after a little coaxing and has fed really well ever since bar a lazy spell on days 2 and 3 which Sally helped us overcome.
With everyone fed and watered, it was time for our little family to get some rest. Sally and Glenis gently bathed Edward and me before putting all three of us to bed, although I didn’t get much sleep for staring at Edward sleeping soundly beside me. Giving birth was an amazing experience. Having done so in the familiar surroundings of our home, without intrusion by people we don’t know and with Sally’s help was so special. I didn’t think I’d want to see the photographs Sally took during the birth, but in the days and months afterwards I kept going back to them; they give me such pleasure. They are quite discreet; in fact so much so; we have shown them to close friends who have remarked on how happy and relaxed we looked.
The last month
Sally and Rene’s post-natal care was fantastic. Sally visited in the evening
on the day of the birth and Rene visited the next day to perform the usual paediatric
tests which Edward passed with flying colours. Sally came to see us every day
for five days after that and then twice a week for three weeks. It was wonderful
to have her reassuring presence in what might otherwise have been a very stressful
month. After two weeks Edward had gained over a pound in weight and he has thrived
ever since. He sleeps really well and is a very happy baby with what one friend
has described as “a very mellow cry”. We have been told by others and we are
convinced our little boy’s placid temperament is directly attributable to our
wonderful home birth. Our eternal thanks to Sally who was an angel every step
of the way.
Abby & baby Blake - Home Birth
My first child was born at home with the support of an NHS community midwife and I felt I had received really good care, the best the NHS could provide, although I had to transfer to a hospital that was further away in order to get this. However my birth was relatively quick (only one midwife got there in time) and I was afraid that second time round I would be too far away from midwives and anyway, I would struggle to make antenatal appointments at a distance. I therefore opted to use local NHS services.
I soon found a coolness towards homebirth despite the fact it was my second time round. Quibbles about blood pressure became an issue that could prevent me from being "allowed" to give birth at home and I felt very frustrated with the rather inflexible adherence to policies that seemed to prevent anyone listening to what I wanted. The final straw came when it was discovered, at 36 weeks, that Blake was breech. Though not bullied, I was pressured into thinking seriously about a c-section by the hospital, but rebel as I am, decided there must be alternatives and didn't take what they said at face value. Alongside attempting several alternative treatments for breech we contacted Sally and Rene. Talking with them was a great relief as at last my concerns and wishes were being heard and I didn't need to spell out or defend my natural birth philosophy - phew! The books and articles Rene and Sally supplied were invaluable in helping me make informed decisions about breech birth.
At week 37 Blake was turned by a doctor in the hospital - an intense physical and emotional experience. Although I would have considered going ahead with a home breech birth with Sally and Rene's expertise giving me the confidence that it was both safe and possible, the situation had changed. (Well done breech ladies whose stories are above - you are incredible!)
Time ticked by and the issue shifted to the threat of planned induction - so lots more books to read and more NHS pressure to take with a pinch of salt!
After a week of mild to strong tightenings Blake was born on good Friday in the evening after a 3 and a quarter hour labour. Birth to me feels ecstatic on one level and undramatic on another - I am fortunate to be able to let my body do its work without any fear as long as I feel 100% confident in my midwives which I truly did. Therefore the experience was calm and easy. The pattern I had followed with my daughter's labour repeated almost exactly. That is, first stage TENS, rocking and breathing (better this time from yoga!) in the kitchen followed by entonox, kneeling and earthy sounds for stage 2 onwards in front of the sofa. I yelled so loud at one stage I couldn't hear what Rene was saying so my husband calmly repeated her wise instructions helping me to minimise tearing.
I was pleased with my first birth experience but this second try was even more relaxed, natural and less invasive. I was amazed how Rene knew exactly how things were progressing without needing to examine me internally. A physiological 3rd stage was a real bonus, allowing the whole birth to feel unhurried and obeying its own pace. No painful suturing this time either - I healed more comfortably with bedrest.
Giving birth is so powerful and personal it seems crazy to me to be supported by strangers - a recipe for stress. It felt like such a relief to be working with Rene and Sally. It was transforming not to be treated as just another anonymous number. Between them they possessed everything I needed to see me through the ups and downs of late pregnancy, through birth and the tricky early baby days - vast knowledge and skill, such enthusiastic commitment to their work, the ability to be really funny when need be and patient with my frequent, probably rather annoying, anxious text messages and late-night phone queries!
Couldn't have done it without you two special ladies!! A x
Zara & baby Haider - Hospital Ventouse
I knew I wanted a midwife and a home birth long before I was pregnant. I never had much faith in the public health system and always thought of giving birth at home to be quite natural. So when I got pregnant, I immediately started searching for midwives in my area. Although most midwives charge a very reasonable fee, my husband and I decided we couldn't afford to get one. So I went to the NHS and had my visits with the NHS midwives. Let's just say that by 30 weeks, my husband ordered me to find an independent midwife as soon as possible! To say we were disappointed by the NHS care would be an understatement.
Then at around 33 weeks, we were fortunate enough to find Sally. Ah, I smile every time I think of her! We knew Sally was the one as soon as we met her. What we didn't know was just how great she really is.
My water broke on a Monday morning. I was 8 days past my estimated due date. I was quite shocked since it was not at all what I expected. It kinda came out of nowhere. I hadn't had any contractions or pains or anything. It just happened and I just felt a surge of wetness and that was it. I jumped into the shower, washed myself, shaved my legs (didn't wanna be hairy lying naked in front of everyone...and don't forget those pictures!), then i put on a sanitary pad and called Sally. I was feeling happy and excited and couldn't wait to feel my first contraction...little did I know! I set up the birth pool and took out the extra towels and my tens machine and everything that I thought I might need. Then I waited and waited and waited some more. Nothing. I began questioning if that clear odourless liquid really was my waters breaking! Not that I could think of another reason. So I went to bed that night and then at 2 am, woke up from pains...yup, contractions. Yay! Quickly got out of bed, made sure not to wake my husband since he needed his sleep, put on my hypnobirth cd and visualized a calm, safe, and easy home water birth. I got out a notepad and pen and wrote down the time of each and every contraction so I can see how I'm progressing. At around 4 am, I phoned Sally to let her know that my contractions had begun. I should have waited till later that morning to phone her, but I guess I actually thought I might have given birth by noon and that I should give her a heads up! I had no clue what was to come. By 5 am, the pain had increased so I decided to start my tens machine. I read that it's most effective when you start using it early on. I needed my husband’s help so I had to wake him. When he woke to see me by his side, he jumped and knew my contractions had begun before I could even say anything. He helped me put my tens machine on and got up to make tea. Then his wait began.
Sally arrived 10:30am. It was really exciting seeing her because it meant baby was going to arrive soon. Or at least I thought so anyway. We were chatting and laughing and after Sally checked me, she said I still had a long way to go so she was going to leave and come back later.
Sally was gone less than 2 hours when my husband had to phone her to come back with me crying in the background. It felt like the pain had quadrupled and I was shocked at the intensity. I was sure that this meant I was going to give birth before the time Sally had said. Sally came back and examined me only to tell me that there was NO change. I was stunned and horrified at the same time. I thought if I'm crying now at 2 cm, HOW am I going to cope through another 8 cm?!?! Without drugs! Not even Gas and Air. So I just kept telling myself that God has created our bodies to be able to cope and that giving birth without intervention was natural and so on and so forth.
I didn't want to get into the pool too early as I read that it could slow down labour and that was the last thing I wanted. But at the same time, I was in a lot of pain and the tens machine wasn't doing enough to ease it. Sally let me get into the pool at 2:20 pm. As soon as I was fully in, I felt immediate relief. I was still in pain, but not as bad as out of the water. It almost felt as if my pain was being lifted as I was floating. That calm feeling quickly passed as I got another sharp contraction. Sally offered me Gas and Air and I accepted. That was the beginning of my love affair with those shiny steel tanks. Or what my husband calls, my addiction.
25 minutes later, Sally called Clare to bring more Gas and Air. Sally's wasn't
full since I had told her previously that I did not want to use Gas and Air.
I was so naive. A while later, I had run out, Clare was late and I was losing
it! Sally suggested I listen to my hypnobirth cd again, and so I agreed. I didn't
feel it working at all. I just couldn't look past the pain. At that point, I
just wanted to yell. I never understood why women yell and scream during labour
till then. Wow, I shocked myself at how loud I could yell and scream. Didn't
know I was going to get even louder as the hours went by! (Addition by Sally:
Zahra’s recollection of this is slightly inaccurate and she didn’t actually
make that much noise!!)
Sally was amazing and calm. My husband was so incredibly supportive even though
I could see he was scared. But even so, I was making death threats, at everyone
and anyone. Before labour began, I had tried exercises where you visualize yourself
during labour and you practice breathing and imagine what you would do to cope
through contractions and imagine seeing your baby being born and scoop it into
your arms and place it against your chest. I knew that it was going to hurt.
I knew it would be pain like I had never experienced before. But I truly thought
I was somewhat prepared. Let me tell you now...I was NOT prepared.
Clare had finally arrived with the Gas and Air. My eyes were closed most of the time from the pain and dizziness from the Gas and Air so all I remember was Sally telling me I can suck in that sweet, cold air again. Not in those words of course. I began to feel the need to push, and with Sally's consent I did. But after an hour of pushing, nothing. I didn't feel like I was coping. I couldn't visualize an end to it all. I definitely wasn't coping with the pain. Sally reminded us that we can always transfer to hospital. I told her I wanted to wait. Within 10 minutes, there was visible meconium. My husband called for an ambulance and I was transferred to the hospital.
In between the pain from the contractions, all I could think about was how my worst fears were coming true; giving birth in a hospital, loss of control, epidural, high risk of caesarean. I was really upset. I really thought I could have had a home water birth and I felt like I absolutely failed. Sally remained by my side. She came with me in the ambulance while my husband drove. Clare stayed behind to clean up and then handed the keys to our neighbours. On a side note, I couldn't look any of my neighbours in the eyes for months afterwards due to the sheer embarrassment of knowing they heard all my screaming! As I said before, I was shockingly loud. (No she wasn’t – Sally)
We got to the hospital, and the next thing I remember was waking up in a room with my husband and Sally by my side. The NHS midwife claimed that there was no meconium. My husband was quite upset because we all saw it, and we had a professional midwife that's been with us for hours, and this lady who has just seen me claimed to know better. Poor Sally didn't say a word, just listened and we went along with whatever they said. The pain was unbearable. I was in and out of consciousness. I think I just kept falling into heavy naps. I don't even remember asking for an epidural. But that was the second fear coming true. Then I remember a surgeon speaking to me about the likelihood of them having to perform a caesarean...my third fear almost coming true! I begged them not to. They said that the baby was back-to-back meaning that he hadn't fully turned and that was most likely why all that pushing wasn't really productive. And apparently why my pain was so severe. At least I wasn't as weak as I thought I was. They prepped me for theatre and told me that they were going to attempt getting the baby out with a vacuum, or as it's also known, ventouse. But they were only going to try twice and if it didn't work, they would perform an immediate caesarean. Oh, and at this point, it was confirmed that there was meconium...took them long enough! Aside from that, the hospital staff that I remember were great, very kind and very understanding.
I went into theatre with my husband by my side. They wouldn't let Sally come
in and made her go to a waiting room outside the labour ward! I really wished
she could have been there. Thank God, after almost 4 hours in the hospital,
our baby boy was born at 12:14 am weighing 7 lb 2 oz. I'd like to say it was
the happiest moment of my life, but it wasn't. It was however for my husband.
He was beaming. He couldn't stop smiling and couldn't stand still. Me on the
other hand, I kept going in and out of consciousness, I was exhausted, I was
trying to make sense of everything that had happened, and to come to terms with
giving birth in a hospital and so on. Next thing I remember is seeing Sally
with our baby. She was so happy holding him.
My husband and Sally stayed with me till around 3/4 am. They were exhausted.
They were by my side pretty much throughout the whole thing and hadn't had anything
to eat. I felt so bad keeping Sally for so long. Especially since it was her
son’s birthday and she had been away from her family the whole day just so she
could help our little guy come into the world.
Sally...thank you so much! I could never thank you enough!! And oh...we LOVE you!!!
Gemma : A story from BEFORE the birth ......
Hi Natalie/Lynda,
I'd also be willing to have a chat with you, as I am lucky enough to be using
an ind. midwife (Rene, whom Lynda has recommended in her email, and who also
delivered my nephew, last June!).
I basically had all the concerns you have, being our first child, I wanted to
be guided and have complete peace of mind that I was getting the best possible
treatment. I wanted to have just the one midwife throughout my whole pregnancy,
that we could get to know and trust, who knew all about me and my medical history
(and not just a number on the NHS). I also was considering home/water birth
something that isn't guaranteed on the NHS.
I don't want to put anyone off who is having a baby with the NHS, because I
know many people who have been lucky and have had a very good experience, although
I haven't heard of many people having home births with the NHS, however, after
Jan's talk at the class on Monday, it seems that this is becoming more and more
available.
But for me I suppose I had a bit of bad experience with the NHS, and had no
confidence in the system at all. At 6 months I still hadn't met a midwife and
only had my urine sample taken once - at the 3 month scan. When I went for my
second scan I realised I should of had several appointments and a whole folder
of full of notes - none of which I knew anything about!! How was I suppose to
know - this is my first time (maybe I was naive!)!? When I asked at the hospital
about these missed appointments I was basically told that it was down to me
to organise and all these were in my folder (I didn't have a folder!!!). This
was really the icing on the cake for me and thats when I called Rene.
I was recommended by Rene by my brother and sister-in-law - they had the most
amazing home/water birth - for their first child and they raved about her!
Rene came round to our house for a free - no obligations chat and we talked
about our concerns of hospital/home births etc. We too were a bit nervous about
a home birth and my partner was adamant that he wanted us to be hospital as
he felt this was the safest place. However, it didn't take long for Rene to
persuade us that home birth was the most safest option (providing there were
no complications). She told us that this way we had the best of both worlds,
because at any point during labour for any reason at all - be it a medical emergency
or even if I just changed my mind and thought I'd be safer in hospital, we could
go. The only thing with this is, that Rene couldn't deliver the baby in hospital,
but she would be there as a birthing partner.
Another reason we were sold on Rene was that she strongly believes post-natal
care is as important as the antenatal care. Her care doesn't just stop at the
birth... if I remember rightly, she comes every day for the first week or two
and then 2/3 times a week for the next few weeks. Again, being our first and
a little nervous, we felt we needed someone like Rene around to guide us through
and be on call.
We signed her up there and then and was lucky enough that she had a space for
us in March as she only takes on two births a month (I think!). We haven't looked
back since, she's been absolutely amazing and I feel like I've had a complete
weight lifted off my shoulders and no more sleepless nights! She wrote to all
the necessary people informing them that she was taking over my care, I haven't
had to do or worry about a thing since, all my appointments are taking of, and
don't need to worry if I've missed something, she would even attend hospital
appointments with me if I wanted. She comes round to the house for all the antenatal
appointments and really makes an effort to get to know you. Its nice that she's
got the time for you to sit and chat - I love hearing about all her birth stories!
She's on call 24 hours a day to me and I know that I can call her with any concern
I have no matter how little, big or stupid it may seem!
However, Rene does come at a cost, and I understand that not everyone can afford
to have an Ind. mid wife, but she really is worth every penny, and I'd rather
forefit a summer holiday to have peace of mind, knowing that we are having the
birth we want and that we are receiving the best possible treatment before,
during and after!
We feel completely relaxed and excited about the whole home birth experience
- Rene has given us complete peace of mind and we can't wait !
I hope this helps!!
Feel free to ask me anything!!
Gemma x
Sara & baby Alex - Hospital Ventouse
I will make my story short. I have never had much faith in the health service in this country and in particular in our area.
When we finally got pregnant I already had a feeling that I was not going to receive the care I wanted and that I would end up stressed and unhappy. Sure enough the further into my pregnancy I got the less I knew about what was going on and there were no anti-natal class spaces and I never got to see a midwife, so I hunted on the internet and came across Saint Rene!!
Rene was great throughout my pregnancy, answered all my questions, be it night or day, but it was at the labour and after that without Rene I am not sure how I would have coped. I didn’t know if I wanted the baby at home, to be honest I think I preferred the thought of being in hospital in case anything went wrong. In the end I started at home and we ended up transferring in because there were complications (I was able to do it like that because I had Rene and trusted she knew what was going on, had we been alone I would have been in the hospital hours earlier) . The hospital staff did what they could to give me a natural birth and in the end it was all ok, but had Rene not been there talking me through everything, I would not have know what was going on. The docs and midwifes were working around me not with me. They were making all the decisions for me not with me. I really had little to do with the birth, at least that is how it felt.
Anyway once my beautiful baby was here, I thought that would be it and everything would go back to normal. Thank God for Rene because I did not have a clue what I was doing, she taught me and helped me with breastfeeding- which does not just happen naturally. She spent ages reassuring me and talking to me about my feelings, I was an emotional wreck and that is all stuff that I didn’t expect and that I am sure you would not receive support with once you are home on the NHS.
Having a baby has to be the most overwhelming thing I have ever done and I
don’t think you can imagine the emotions that come with it until it happens.
Having someone you can trust completely to do the best for you as well as your
baby, allowing you to be completely honest and not feel judged or that you are
not coping is what Rene gave me. She was worth every penny!!!
Lucy & baby Tate - Home Water birth
I have 2 children already and both were very quick births so I was preparing for another speedy delivery.
My second child had arrived in an hour from my first twinge and the midwife missed it so I was concerned that this time my homebirth didn't turn into another unattended birth.
I spoke to the NHS midwife and she gave me no confidence that she would rush to get to me which made me very nervous. I therefore hired an independant midwife (Rene Schwencke) who was absolutely fantastic.
She talked me through breathing exercises that I could use to slow the birth down which proved invaluable on the night.
I woke up at 1.10am with period type cramps, not even knowing if it would lead to established labour at 1.15 I called Rene who set off immediatley.
By 1.25 I was having full blown contractions with hardly a break between. I began using the breathing exercises that Rene had taught me and lay on my front with my bum in the air to get a bit of help from gravity to slow things down as I was already feeling the urge to push.
It was occuring to me to call an ambulance so I called Rene back at
1.35 but she said that she was 15 minutes away.
When I had a brief break in contractions I rushed downstairs to my birthpool but Rene told me not to get in before she arrived.
At 1.50 Rene arrived, I leapt into the pool and with the gravity of standing up and one push the baby arrived at 1.54.
It was a fanastic birth experience but so quick that it was over and I had my baby in my arms before it had really hit me that I was in labour.
I am so pleased that I hired an independant midwife as without the breathing that Rene taught me I am sure that the baby would have arrived 20 minutes earlier. With the NHS it would definately have been an unattended birth.
If you want to read my other two birth stories they are at www.birthpoolhire.co.uk. I have had such positive homebirth experiences that they inspired me to set up my own company :)
Claire & baby Amelia - Breech/Caesarean in Hospital
It was the weekend of a full moon and I woke up Friday morning to find I had had a show. Despite having some tightenings in my stomach I didn’t get my hopes up as I had heard you can still go 2 weeks till baby makes an appearance from having a show and I still had 2 weeks left to go.
That evening I went to bed earlier than usual as I felt a bit nauseous and extremely tired, I woke an hour later being very sick and a little while later my waters went. It was at 2am on the Saturday morning when my contractions started. At this point Andy my husband attached the tens machine to my back and with a mixture of tens and the breathing techniques I had learnt at yoga I kept myself going and Andy filled the birth pool.
By about 7am we felt it was time for Rene, our midwife to come and give me a check up, though I was a little apprehensive worried that I wouldn’t be too far along. However, it turned out I was 8cm dilated and it was time to get into the pool. The warm water was a huge relief and it was nice to have a warm, comfortable place to relax a bit between contractions.
When the second stage started, I had high hopes that the baby would be born by lunchtime but it wasn’t to be the case. I spent 3 hours pushing and could feel myself becoming more and more frustrated and disheartened. It was then that Rene suggested we go to hospital for a ventouse and hopefully be home again by dinnertime, by this time I was exhausted and thought it was a very good idea. The ambulance arrived and the gas and air they provided was, at this point, a real treat.
Unfortunately the ventouse was not to be. After a quick scan at the hospital it turned out that the baby was breach (with legs up behind ears holding the head in place) and needed to be born via caesarean section as no amount of pushing was going to work. We were taken down to theatre soon after, fortunately both Andy and Rene could stay with me. Having them both there really gave me strength, and at 14.19pm Amelia Caitlin was born, weighing a healthy 8lbs 2oz.
Although not the home birth that we had originally planned, to have had the labour at home I feel really helped me remain positive about the trip to hospital and the c-section outcome. Next time we’ll hopefully get the full home birth experience and I hope that Rene will be there to hold my hand again.
Tracy & twins Toren and Mairead - Hospital Normal Birth
When I was pregnant with Conall, one of the very first things I started to worry about was the birth and whether I would need to go into hospital. Things were no different this time. When we discovered it was twins, my emotions were a mixture of huge relief that the bleeding I’d had wasn’t a miscarriage, and a realisation that my hope for a home birth with a pool was probably out of the window – as it was in the end with Conall due to my thrombosis and treatment with blood thinners. This time round, though, I knew that it wouldn’t be possible to arrange an independent midwife to deliver me in hospital, as the rules have changed.
You might think that having been through so much to get pregnant, that I’d be happy just to know the babies would be born safely, but things just aren’t that easy for me when it comes to hospitals. For a start, I do doubt whether a hospital can be relied on in that respect… but also I feel terribly stressed at the thought of being in the clutches of the medical establishment especially relying on the random allocation of a doctor and midwife, subject to the vagaries of hospital policies, let alone at a vulnerable time like being in labour.
So despite the cost, I went ahead and arranged an independent midwife to at least act as my friend and supporter throughout the whole process (and I suspected I’d get my money’s worth from the post-natal support and help with breastfeeding twins, if nothing else!) I chose the midwife who had taken over from the one who delivered Conall (now retired) and I also got myself referred to an obstetrician recommended to me as progressive, by another independent midwife.
So the pregnancy progressed with me going regularly to see my haematologist (on blood thinners again) and for scans (monthly from 20 weeks then fortnightly once twin I’s growth and low fluid began to be a concern) but with my ante-natal care carried out by Rene and her partner, another midwife called Sally.
I found things surprisingly easy, no doubt helped by me working at home from about 28 weeks. And maybe I was less inclined to complain about inconveniences like swollen legs, because I was just so happy to be pregnant with no complications. I was lucky though, to escape many pregnancy ailments, with the exception of killer heartburn/retching and feet that seemed to get bigger by the day.
With the support of Rene and Sally we planned for the sort of birth I wanted. I was very concerned that I should have a natural birth with no unnecessary intervention, and we therefore sent my birthplan to the supervisor of midwives and discussed it with my consultant as well as meeting with the manager of the labour ward. We obtained the twin guidelines from the hospital and discussed my desire not to have continuous monitoring.
My other main concerns were about no unnecessary induction, being able to use the pool, letting the cord stop pulsing before cutting the cord, and letting twin II come naturally in their own time, plus Andrew taking twin I skin to skin while I delivered twin II. As well as no unnecessary staff in the room, pediatrician called in only if needed, etc. I did have some very anxious moments and bad dreams about the whole idea of going into hospital which culminated in me basically sobbing my way through a consultant appointment a few weeks before the end but Rene and Sally did their best to reassure me that they would be there and nothing would happen to me without my consent. My consultant was on the liberal end of the doctor spectrum and agreed with my requests, although she did keep reminding me of hospital policy to induce twins at 38 weeks.
I did acupuncture to prepare for birth as well as hypnobirthing and had an mp3 made for me by my hypnotherapist.
Everything was fine, apart from rather low fluid on twin I and slower growth than twin II, until just over 37 weeks when I had some visual disturbances one evening. Rene came to check me, my blood pressure was fine though there was some protein in my urine. We decided it was hopefully just a migraine. However at 37+2, the symptoms came back and when Rene same to check me, my blood pressure was up, not dramatically, but combined with +3 on the urine dipstick, it was enough for her to suggest we went into the labour ward to be checked.
They decided to keep me in for monitoring in case of pre-eclampsia and a 24 hour urine collection. I took this news quite well, considering. The 24 hour urine collection showed I had mild-pre-eclampsia but my blood pressure stayed stable, albeit elevated. I declined to be induced, and agreed that I could go home, after my regular scan, scheduled for 37+6.
Rene and Sally came with me. Twin I was still something of a concern, but now at almost 38 weeks and with the pre-eclampsia, they scrutinised blood flow to the placenta and the baby’s brain etc much more thoroughly. They then declared he had pretty much stopped growing, that he was estimated at 4lb 8 while twin 1 was 6lb 14 and that he was beginning to suffer.
So we agreed to be induced. But then it turned out not to be such an emergency… in fact they couldn’t find a slot, right off. After I’d had the fear of god put into me by the scan dept, my own consultant came to see me on the ward and reassured me that the baby was only showing the very early signs of difficulty. We agreed I’d go home, be monitored the next day, and come back probably the day after for induction.
I was so relieved to get home and into my own bed and bath … I’d been in hospital from Saturday/Wednesday and not slept more than an hour in one go.
However I woke up before dawn struggling to breathe and nothing seemed to help. When Andrew got up we decided to go back to hospital and called an ambulance. I was admitted again via the labour ward and they checked my heart via an ECG as well as testing for pulmonary embolism (due to my history) Andrew had to leave me there alone as Conall was off school ill.
At teatime they took me back to the ante-natal ward, with induction planned for the next day, 38+1.
I spent the night pacing the floor, interspersed with hot showers to relax my stiff neck.
Andrew came to the hospital mid-morning, but there was no space in the labour ward. It was late afternoon before we were taken up. A lovely hospital midwife checked me, Doriscilla, and she said I was fully effaced and 2-3cm dilated. She suggested not having the pessary they had prescribed, but instead having a sweep and waiting for a few hours. So she gave me a sweep and I got into the pool to read my book. Sally and Rene arrived a few hours later and at shift change we got a new midwife, Harriet. I was visited in the pool by the consultant covering that night and her team, including her SHO Ranjit. The consultant was very keen for me to be continuously monitored but I reiterated my wishes and we came to a compromise for occasional monitoring via the CTG. (In the end , no one really came in and pushed monitoring on us, a couple of times Rene had to go and remind the midwife that I needed to be checked)
We relaxed for a while, and I had a few twinges, and possibly some leaking fluid, but nothing much happened despite Rene doing reflexology on my feet. I was enjoying having access of the pool, and was tempted just to wait for nature to take its course and not have any further intervention, but in fact, I was keen to go ahead and have the babies during the night, and Sally and Rene were there… I wasn’t sure if we’d get kicked out of the labour ward if we refused any further induction!
So just after 10 when Harriet came back, I was quite happy to have my waters broken. It was quite painless, and Andrew and I walked about for an hour or so. Contractions started at about 10.30 and by 11 o’ clock were 1:5. I was on the birthball, listening to my hypnotherapy MP3 and very relaxed.
At about 11.30 I started to want to get in the pool, which I hoped was a good sign. I got into the pool, by midnight the pains were quite intense. Rene called Harriet to say she thought I was close to transition. Harriet was surprised but checked me and I was almost fully dilated. I was finding the pains quite hard and I hoped I’d get the urge to push soon. I remembered from Conall’s birth that the time just before pushing was the hardest. 00.45am and I felt the urge to push.
There was a rush to get me out of the pool, I chose to kneel on the bed leaning forward and got a bean bag to lean over. A doctor appeared at 1am, hurrying to place a cannula in case I needed any drugs. I was pushing. Toren was born at 01.10, and I took him in my arms. Andrew cut the cord when it stopped pulsating.
Twin II was monitored via the CTG and scan, and was still quite high.
I relaxed, Toren fed and we enjoyed meeting him. At 1.50 the doctor came back and suggested a drip, but I refused. Andrew took Toren under his tshirt and I tried various positions to stimulate contractions. At 2.30am I got back onto the ball and took Toren to feed, which did stimulate some contractions.
At 2.55 the doctor examined me again, Mairead was still high and seemed to be coming feet first (legs over head) This was confirmed by a scan.
The doctor managed to turn Mairead to head first, while I had a quaff of the gas and air, which made me feel quite spacey. The doctor suggested I have the syntocinon drip to bring Mairead down and keep her head down. At 3.30 Mairead still hadn’t descended. The doctor then suggested going to theatre to rupture her membranes, which I agreed to.
I was quite upset to hear that the journey from the labour room to the theatre (although not far!) would need to take place without gas and air… as the supply was not mobile… I recall taking several deep breaths and chucking the mouthpiece at the midwife and shouting “Go, go!” The drip was so much more painful than my natural births with Conall and Toren had been!
Anyway, just before 4am we were in theatre, Sally, Rene and Andrew were all allowed in, Toren was there in a cot. Being the middle of the night the place was very quiet. Mairead’s waters were broken at 3.57, I started to push and she was born at 4.11 – just over 3 hours after her brother. If we’d have started earlier, they could have had different birthdays!
I remember just carrying on pushing until someone told me it was all done and the placenta was out. It was such a relief it was all finished!
In recovery both babies were weighed – Toren was 5lb 5 rather than the estimated 4lb 8 and Mairead was 6lb 4 rather than 6lb 14.
Andrew came up to the postnatal ward with me at 7am and refused to leave. It was so lovely to have him there with me and the babies. I dozed off, feeling so happy and amazed that we had finally done it.
Two beautiful babies, and a beautiful birth. It wasn’t without complications but I knew that nothing happened that didn’t have a good reason.
Carla & baby Charlie - Home Birth
The pregnancy...
The support I received from Rene before my son was born was surpassed only by
the care I received from her in the weeks afterwards. Luckily I didn’t have
any real problems during the pregnancy but whatever was niggling me, especially
towards the end, I felt completely comfortable discussing with her. It was so
nice to be able to talk so openly to someone who was interested and helpful,
no matter how minor the worry. It was also so lovely knowing that this was the
midwife who was going to be with me right the way through the pregnancy, through
labour and beyond and this gave me the reassurance and confidence to face my
second labour without too much trepidation.
The Birth..
I was getting on for four days late which was starting to irritate me because
I knew that the baby was ready to come out - it really had absolutely no room
in there and for the previous couple of weeks the bump was so solid, it was
like sleeping with a boulder. I was also starting to get nervous the longer
it went on, not about the birth necessarily but about when I would have to start
making decisions about interventions which I really really didn't want.
So during the day on Saturday I collated all the bits and pieces I had heard
about how to get labour started - 3 raspberry leaf teas, half a pineapple, walking
up and down the stairs in the house several times, a glass of champagne with
dinner, eye of newt, wart of toad etc etc...
About 1.15 am on Sunday morning I got up for the usual bladder stop. As soon
as I went back to bed I needed to go again - this time number 2's..(sorry to
be gross, but it is a sign..) then nearly back in bed when I had to go again
and I started to get lower back pain and then lower/under bump cramping. Knew
now that this was labour starting - got Richard up but thought I would have
hours of this (It was just past 1.30am by then).
I rang my midwife at 2am who said to ring back in half an hour or before if
I needed to.. In the next ten minutes I was having almost constant contractions
so I rang the midwife back and said please come sharpish. Richard in the meantime
was busy preparing the living room and sorting out the pool. I called my friend
to come and collect Leah (bless her!) and made friends with the bathroom floor
to deal with the contractions which were coming fast and furious..
I found my way downstairs somehow and knelt by the pool which was just starting
to be filled - it was about 2.20 I think by this time. The contractions were
incredibly painful at this stage but I was able to deal with them with long
exhalations.. a bit surprised they were that painful so early and very worried
about how I was going to be able to deal with that level of pain for several
hours.. Rene (my midwife) arrived at about 2.35 and assisted me with the breathing
as the pool was still being filled. Without needing to check me she said she
estimated I was about 7cm dilated just by how I was acting - which was quite
a relief as the pains were so strong and lasting for well over a minute. By
this stage Richard had abandoned the pool filling and came to support me. I
knelt in front of him and tried to elongate my breathing by adding noise - my
version of toning I suppose, although it was more like warbling, but it seemed
to work - and then I tried to visualise desert islands etc anything to distract
me from what was going on. Just when I thought I was going to give up, I started
to feel the baby descend - which was incredible and gave me the courage to keep
going as I realised that it wasn't going to continue for hours as I feared but
was going to be minutes!
Anyway, I think I pretty much breathed him out, pushing only a little at first
- then my waters broke followed by the head appearing (ow!) and I held back
a little then pushed hard to get the body out (really ow!) - and there he was
all 8lb 4oz of him!!! It was 3.10 am and I had been in labour for 1 hour 40
mins.. I then had a natural 3rd stage and when the placenta finally came out
the whole thing had lasted just over 2 hours - how lucky was I?? I had no tearing
and not even any grazing - think it must have been helped by my waters remaining
intact to help with the descent and the fact that I was at home, happy not to
be in hospital (I hate them) and had hardly even a blip in my blood pressure.
My body was trembling and I started to feel cold - think I was a little shocked
but was soon fine again.
Trust me, I am not a brave person, quite a baby when it comes to pain actually,
I just felt safe and relatively in control, which worked for me. Rene was great
- made me feel safe and guided me through it wonderfully - pretty lucky actually
as if she had arrived 40 minutes later she would have missed the whole thing
and probably been faced with a shell shocked Richard and Carla holding the baby...
The second midwife arrived while we were waiting for the placenta to come out
- she couldn't believe she had missed it.. I was a little sad not to have had
the water birth that I had wanted but I was over that really quickly when I
thought about how quick the alternative was! Ah well.
The following weeks..
Despite the fact that I had breastfed my first baby, it seems that every baby
is a different experience. I entered into it quite confidently but before long
I was incredibly sore and needed so much help in positioning him so I could
feed him without the pain being too excruciating. I don’t know how many times
I nearly gave up in the early days/weeks, especially when I started bleeding
into the breast pump which was nearly the final straw. However I have to say
that because I had such frequent visits from Rene, I kept trying out her various
suggestions until finally it all worked. Rene’s patience and constant support
made me feel like I was not alone, a very easy feeling to have when you are
feeding in the middle of the night curling your toes into the carpet with pain
and wondering why you were born female.... But what was almost more important
was knowing that whatever I decided to do, continue or stop, I would have the
same support and understanding and I actually think that was one of the major
reasons I didn’t give up. I would look forward to her visits as I would to a
friend – even better because you get to talk about yourself the entire time!
Rene is a wonderful midwife. She makes you feel that your experience is as unique
and special to her as it is to you - despite the fact that she must deal with
this every day, and that is invaluable.
Sally & baby Lilly - Waterbirth at Home
I first decided to contact an Independent Midwife, after my sister had one for the care of both her children. Rene came around and basically explained everything they do. I was especially impressed by the amount of support and aftercare I would receive and my partner was pleased, as all the visits were done at home, so it was much easier for me and him. Throughout my whole pregnancy Rene was there for me at every stage and the closer I got to my due date the more grateful I was that I had so much support.
This was my first birth, so I didn’t know what to expect, so it was quite
scary at times. My waters finally broke on 30th November 2007. Rene came round
in the morning, as I felt very frightened and wasn’t sure exactly what to do.
She reassured me and comforted me, which really helped calm me down and feel
a lot more relaxed. I had already started to use the tens machine after my waters
had broken, which I was finding quite effective. Rene explained It could be
today or tomorrow, so for me to relax as much as I could and she would be back
in the afternoon to check on me.
After she left the labour started to progress at a quicker pace than expected,
so my partner got the birth pool ready for me. Around lunch time the contractions
started to increased rapidly, so my partner called Rene and she arrived shortly
after. I tried to use the gas and air, but I couldn’t seem to get to grips with
it, so I just carried on with the tens machine. Rene said it was time for me
to be checked over and that is when it all began……I went from 6cm to 9cm, so
It was now time to get into the pool for the final stage.
Getting into the birthing pool was a big relief for me and I was so thankful that I had decided to purchase one in the end. All the labour pain was in my back, so Rene and my partner helped sooth my back at each contraction. After contractions and sleeping it was time to start pushing! And finally my baby girl was born at 4.08 in the afternoon. She was completely calm when she arrived and I think that was due to having her in the water. I just held her in the water for a while, half in shock, half exhausted, but extremely happy and overwhelmed.
Afterwards Rene and Sally, the other midwife, helped me get out of the pool and after I had delivered the placenta, they were there to help me have a bath and get ready for a good earned rest! I did unfortunately have to have stitches, but I was very lucky that another midwife came around to do them. It was painful, but they have now healed very well and again Rene and Sally were there ever step of the way.
The next hurdle for me and my baby girl Lilly to overcome was breastfeeding. I think it is one of the most hardest things I have done. I thought it would be really easy, but you both have to work at it. I struggled for the first few weeks, but with a lot of support from the midwifes, friends and family and a lot of perseverance from me, I have to say I think I have finally cracked it! So if you do have problems, your not alone, I have since heard many stories of how difficult it can be, but it is definitely worth it in the end.
I would like to give my thanks to Rene and Sally for all the help and support they have given me throughout my pre and post pregnancy and I would recommend them to anyone, it is so worth it. I never thought I would say this, but I would definitely have another one!
Jane & baby Nuala - Waterbirth at Home
I had woken up at 4.15am on the Sunday morning because Sam was coughing and after sorting him out and tucking him in I got back into bed and realised I was having pains – very irregularly and not too painful but stronger than braxton hicks. I couldn’t get back to sleep properly so lay there trying to time how long they were and when they were coming.
I suspected that the pains were the really early start of something but considering I was only 38+5 weeks couldn’t really let myself believe it.
This continued throughout the rest of the morning. We went to church and a few people prayed for us there. One couple prayed that things would start that day and one man prayed that this baby’s birth would be wonderful and that it would be like bathing in a pool of warm water – he didn’t know I was planning a water birth!
Again things carried on quite irregularly for the rest of the day, I knew I wasn’t in established labour but the contractions were getting more painful, so around 3.00pm, I took myself up to my bedroom. I felt I needed some quiet time away from the noise and bustle of the children. I also text Sally, my IM and Hayles my doula to let them know that whilst it wasn’t happening right then, it might happen later. Sally text back that I was to let her know when the contractions got to 10 minutes apart but if I felt I needed her in the meantime, to let her know. This is when I was so glad she just lived across the village from me.
Hayles phoned me to say that if I wanted her to come, then she would but I didn’t feel that things had kicked off at this point enough to warrant it. We still had the children to feed and put to bed. I kind of knew my body wouldn’t let things really kick off at that point.
Brendan made tea for the children – albeit quite late because he was watching the motor racing. He didn’t believe it would happen until the following weekend. I don’t know when that boy will learn to listen to me! By the time the older children were getting ready for bed and I was getting Sam ready, the contractions, though irregular were really quite painful. I put Sam to bed and went downstairs and told Brendan he needed to put the pool up – I still don’t think at this point he thought it was happening. I think he thought it was a ruse to get him to practise filling the pool. While he did this I bounced on my ball and watched Wife Swap and walked around to try and regulate the contractions. Hayles in the meantime had phoned again and offered to come and I thought at this point it would be quite good to have her here.
When Hayles arrived I explained about the contractions being painful but still really irregular. She said that the baby’s head probably wasn’t quite in the right place and gave me some different positions to try and move her to where she should be. I on the other hand at this point was still worrying that everything would stop and I would have got everyone out and on alert for nothing. I had phoned Sally at 9.00pm to update her and I think she could tell from my voice that things weren’t hotting up just yet. She had said to phone back when contractions were 5 mins apart, so that gave me something to aim for but still couldn’t quite believe I’d get there. In between contractions I was absolutely fine and chatted with Brend and Hayles. The contractions however were extremely painful, Hayley was saying how she could see my toes curling with the pain during them.
I was telling Hayles about when I was in labour with Molly and Brend and I were walking round the village to get the contractions going when Hayles said ‘well let’s do that then’. I will be eternally grateful she did that. So while Brend continued to fill the pool, Hayles and I went out for a walk – me in my pyjama bottoms. It was around 11.30pm at this point. We walked around and around and I actually got us lost, the village is like a maze and it was really dark! Hayles made me walk up hills like a crab and I kept walking up the wrong paths to people’s front doors. We were sure we’d end up arrested. Hayles made me laugh so much I nearly wet myself.
I had a couple of big contractions while we were out and a couple of big pains that weren’t quite contractions. Hayles suggested it could be baby’s head moving into position and boy was she right. We got back to the house (once we found it) and I started bouncing on my ball and the contractions started coming every 9 minutes, very strong. Then I started having one big contraction, a smaller one after 5 minutes and then another big one after another five minutes. I was still worried at this point that it would all stop. Hayles kept saying to me, ‘Jane, you’re having a baby.’ The lights were low in the room and Brendan had finished filling the pool. We had a worship cd playing and just the low murmer of Hayles and Brend chatting while I concentrated on contractions. These were getting more intense. I wondered if I should phone Sally again and tell her to come. I didn’t want her to come and say I was only 1-2 cm and baby was still high and free. Hayles said that often if you’re not sure whether to call the midwife or not then it probably means not. A couple of powerful contractions later and I said ‘I think I should call her’ It just felt like things were suddenly stepping up. It was so lovely to know that when I phoned, I would be getting Sally and not somebody unknown to me. I also knew that whilst I was panicking about calling her out too early for her it would be no problem so I had to just get over my worries.
I phoned Sally at 2.00am and she said she’d come straight round and phone her partner Rene who would also come and bring the gas and air.
Sally got here at 2.15am and checked me over. Bp and urine were fine and baby’s heartbeat was spot on even through a contraction. Now for the big moment, I had my one and only vaginal exam (completely different from my previous hospital births and my last home birth with the community midwives when they isnsisted on regular and frequent examinations) and I was……6-7cm! I couldn’t believe it. I had never gone that far without pain relief before! Sally also said baby’s head was very low down and the membranes were bulging. I knew Sally wasn’t keen to artificially rupture the membranes but I was willing to beg if things went on too long and they didn’t rupture naturally. I was happy to see how it went for the moment though and was completely trusting of Sally and what she was telling me. I really felt in control of what was happening. I could also get in the pool now though which I did. The warm water was lovely and I started lying leaning against the side. I then moved onto my knees leaning on the side of the pool, which seemed more comfie for me.
At 2.55am Rene arrived but I didn’t pay much attention as I was concentrating on getting through contractions then almost going into sleep mode in between. I could hear rhe low murmer of Brend and Hayles and Sally and Rene in the background but they didn’t really intefere in what I was doing and allowed me to completely focus on birthing my baby. Even when Rene checked the baby’s heartbeat I remained where I was in the pool and wasn’t really aware of what was going on, it was so lovely. At this point the contractions got more painful and Rene set up the entonox for me – they just seemed to know I needed it as I blurted out ‘they’re getting more painful!’ After this, I sucked gratefully on the entonox through contractions until to my surprise, at 3.35am, I felt a pop – I blurted ‘I think my waters have gone!’ not knowing that they could see my waters had gone. I was so surprised they went in their own time on their own This had only happened in my first labour when my waters went before my labour actually started. All the other times they had been artificially ruptured..
Now was the test to see if what had happened in three of my previous labours would happen again. Would the baby would be born straight away. Another contraction was building and suddenly there it was, the urge to push. It took Sally and Rene by surprise but they flew into action. Brendan said he looked at Hayles because they could hear a difference in my breathing and they both knew what was going to happen next. ‘I’m pushing’ I yelled as I dropped the gas and air and just put my head down and pushed for all my worth, knowing that that was the only way out of the pain and suddenly Sally was saying, ‘take the baby Jane and lift her to the surface.’ I couldn’t believe it, I looked down and Sally was passing a baby up between my legs.
Nuala Grace was here, born at 3,40am, just 5 minutes after my waters went. Apparantly she shot out like a torpedo! She didn’t breath immediately so Rene and I blew gently on her face until she took her first breath. She made a few little sounds but didn’t want to cry. She was so chilled out and contented. I sat back in the pool and leant against the side with my baby girl on my chest. It had all happened so fast there hadn’t been time to wake the children, so Hayles went and woke them for me so they could meet their new sister. Sam slept through the whole thing.
The children came in and looked in amazement at Nuala. They each came and gave her kisses. Then we encouraged them to go back to bed while I got out of the pool and delievered the placenta but they were too excited by this point and came back down. We waited for the cord to stop pulsating before it was clamped. It was all so relaxed and calm, it was gorgeous. We all wondered how much Nuala would weigh because she looked so tiny and she was a teeny 5lb1oz, she looked just like a little doll. She didn’t even really cry until she had her vitamin K injection. I managed to latch her on the breast and she had a few good sucks. We all sat around chatting and laughing with the children, it was so lovely and relaxed. Eventually the children did go back to bed and I went and had a bath and got into bed. I just had a graze, so no stitches, which was wonderful.
Hayles made me toast and then went home and the midwives gave Nuala a proper check over and then left not long after. I was lying in bed with my gorgeous, little girl. I am so thankful to Hayles, Sally and Rene. This was my most amazing labour and birth yet and they helped to make it that.
Jo & baby Charlie - Caesarean section
After finding out I was pregnant, I decided to enlist the help of private midwives as I felt that I couldn’t get the one to one care that I wanted from the NHS. Right from the start Sally & Rene were really helpful and informative. I found it so nice to have my ante-natal appointments at my home at a time that suited me so it fit in around my work. To have someone always on the end of the phone or on email for quick questions was really reassuring and I found the fact that the same people were caring for us throughout, very comforting.
After a very straightforward pregnancy baby Charlie was born 1st February 2008 by emergency c-section at the PRUH. We had hoped to have a home water birth, we had the pool already to go and were looking forward to a natural birth at home but unfortunately my waters broke, and after 4 hours of labour at home there was meconium in my waters. I knew what it was immediately as Sally & Rene had spoken to us in depth about all the things that may happen, so when Sally came to the house at 9am she decided that we should go into hospital in case the baby was distressed (as it turned out he was perfectly fine all the way through my labour but we had to be safe!). We transferred by ambulance and arrived at the hospital and were taken to a room.
I decided that I would try and manage using my Tens machine for as long as I could, which I had put on immediately when my waters broke (my other half was using the gas & air before I was!). After about 6 hours of labour, I was 6cm dilated and managing my contractions well. I tried to keep myself relaxed and breath through them and Sally & Rene were very quick to remind me when I wasn’t doing it right which was great as it really did help. I used gas & air for another 2 hours until I was 8cm dilated and the contractions were strong and coming about every 5 minutes or so. I found the most comfortable position to be on my knees, resting on the back of the bed with the support of my partner and my midwives to help me through the contractions as they came ... we were actually having a bit of a laugh in between, the gas & air was making everything seem rather hilarious (to me anyway)!
At this point the registrar at the hospital told me that I wasn’t progressing very well and the contractions were becoming increasingly more intense (we later discovered that Charlie was back to back) so I asked for an epidural. Unfortunately the epidural slowed everything down and I was forced to be on my back as I couldn’t feel my legs, my contractions progressed over the next 4 hours and when I was fully dilated, I stated to push which was quite difficult as I couldn’t really feel my contractions but my midwives helped me to gauge when to push and encouraged me to push in the right way for as long as possible.
After 2 hours of pushing I was very tired and they decided that the baby was
in fact back to back and was going to need some help to be born so they took
me to theatre for an assisted delivery. Unfortunately, when the surgeon examined
me he decided that baby was not far enough down for an assisted delivery and
that I would need a c-section. Charlie was born at 8.20pm and was fit and well.
Sally & Rene were a great help to me in the days after the birth, they visited
me in hospital while I was there due to having had a c-section and helped me
to establish breastfeeding straight away. They helped me to get up & move
around after my operation and spent time with myself & Charlie that the
NHS midwives just didn’t have time to do. I found the 28 days of postnatal care
invaluable, and to have someone to ask questions, however silly they may seem,
was very reassuring.
Even though I didn’t manage to have the birth I had hoped for, I found the help & support of my midwives invaluable and will certainly enlist their help with the next one!
Belinda & baby Jessica - Waterbirth at Home
Hi,
I had an independent midwife - Rene Schwencke - when I had my baby girl in April,
and I am so glad that I did. I know it is a lot of money and I was worried about
whether it would be worth it or not, but I can honestly say that it was definitely
worth the money and I would use her again next time round.
Each time I went to my doctors for a check, I would end up seeing a different midwife and so felt I was having to explain everything about my pregnancy all the time. I found it really difficult not being able to form a relationship with one person, so I decided to look into independent midwives.
As soon as I met Rene, I felt relaxed and confident with her. I didn't feel silly asking any questions and she was always at the end of the phone whenever I needed her.
I ended up having a home water birth, which was a wonderful experience.
I would definitely recommend Rene as an independent midwife.
If I can help you with anything, just let me know.
Belinda xx
Holly & baby Riley - Waterbirth at Home
I booked Sally to be my midwife quite late on in my second pregnancy, at about 33 weeks, after losing faith in the NHS and their ability to do what was best for me and my baby and not what is best for them! I had some pieces of retained placenta after an extremely long and painful delivery of my first son which had to be removed manually but after some research I felt was down to the fact that he was a large baby, I was induced, had an epidural and had the syntocinon injection at delivery and therefore decided that I was at no greater risk of this happening again. Problem was my NHS midwife didn’t agree and said I would have to get the consultant to agree to a homebirth! I decided on a homebirth because my first birth was so horrendous the thought of the same thing happening again petrified me and I felt the only way I would remain in control was to be at home away from the theatre happy hands of the doctors on delivery suite!
Anyway, as you can imagine the consultant (well registrar because you must know
actually seeing a consultant has to be rarer than meeting the queen!) tried
to convince me I was at great risk of PPH because it had happened once so was
likely to happen again but couldn’t tell me why or how more likely it was to
happen or even give me any confidence that she actually knew why it just seemed
that was what she was told and she just believed it to be fact. So after many
arguments, tears and distress on my part I thought to myself why am I battling
for a homebirth when actually if they did agree and a midwife turned up at my
door when I went into labour I had very little faith that the midwife would
have the experience of homebirths and the positive outlook on them that I knew
I needed to be able to succeed in achieving a natural birth. From the minute
I met Sally and Rene I felt at absolute ease and so did my partner who was actually
rather anxious about a homebirth until Sally made him realise how safe it is
and what a positive experience we could have.
After a problem free pregnancy I finally went into labour 3 days over my due
date and sadly Sally was in hospital with her daughter so it was Rene who we
called after much debate from me as to whether this was it or not and fearing
that ringing her would make it all stop! The contractions started at about 6.15pm
on what turned out to be the day before my birthday and were fairly long, regular
and frequent from the start but I coped well bouncing on my birthing ball until
I felt Rene should really be there and she arrived at just after 10pm. After
examining me (not internally) she put me at ease that everything was fine and
to carry on breathing through the contractions, which I did until about 10.45
when I decided that I wasn’t comfortable anymore so we decided I could get into
the pool which was an amazing relief with the water providing great support.
Just after I got in the pool Nanette arrived to support Rene although by this
point I didn’t really notice her arrival! About an hour later I felt my waters
pop in the pool and immediately felt myself pushing and Rene and Nanette encouraged
me to go with my body and to do whatever felt right which was just the support
I needed and I managed to push my baby out in just 12 minutes without any pain
relief.
My second son, Riley, arrived 6 minutes into my birthday and it was the most
amazing experience of my life and I have absolutely no doubt it was thanks to
the support of Sally during my pregnancy and Rene and Nanette during my labour.
As it turns out I did have a problem with the placenta again and I actually
fainted in the pool and ended up going into hospital by ambulance because the
cord snapped on the placenta so had to have it removed manually but we have
since realised that it must be a genetic problem with me and would have happened
regardless. I am just grateful I got the birth I wanted and wasn’t forced to
endure a hospital birth as well as the manual evacuation of the placenta! Again
Rene and Nanette’s support provided invaluable here as they actually managed
to get the doctor to remove it on delivery suite with just gas and air rather
than having the upset of an epidural and a trip to theatre which I am eternally
grateful for.
I have managed to breastfeed exclusively for 3 weeks now and have every confidence
that will continue thanks to Rene’s wonderful advice and making sure we still
got skin to skin and a feed as soon as possible despite me going into hospital.
The support and care I have received from Sally and Rene has been much much
more than I anticipated and I will be very sorry to see this chapter in my life
close but so so grateful to have been lucky enough to experience the care of
independent midwives. In my opinion everybody should be given the choice of
this care rather than being forced onto the conveyor belt of consultant led
care and treated like an inferior human being who has no ability to do what
every woman IS capable of if they were to just be given the chance. I could
waffle on forever because I feel so strongly about this and it may already feel
to you that I have (if you have not fallen asleep by now!) but it really has
been worth every penny and if you have any doubts about any aspect of homebirth/waterbirth
or using an independent midwife I would strongly urge you to overcome them and
go for it, I have no doubt you will be so glad you did because they really will
give you and your baby the best care possible!
Rachel & baby Austen - Waterbirth at Home
At 7:30pm I was in bed watching a film with Martin and the kids when I suddenly had three contractions 5 minutes apart. I mentioned it to Martin who immediately told me to call Rene our midwife. I said to wait another 10 minutes or so just to make sure. I went downstairs and started pacing up and down the living room. I soon realised that I was definitely in labour.
I phoned Rene at 7:55pm. I told her not to rush as although they were 5 minutes
apart they were only lasting about 30 seconds and I was coping well. I then
phoned my friend Lynda at 8pm who was a birth partner.
Martin started to fill the birth pool and I put on Lynda's Birthing Relaxations
CD. I also took an arnica tablet and 7 drops of rescue remedy. By 8:15pm I believe
I text Rene to say that they were now coming 3 minutes apart, although still
only lasting about 30 seconds, we confirmed by text that the pool was being
filled.
By now I was leaning over my birth ball through each contraction and was concentrating
on my breathing. By 8:30pm I put on my Tens machine as the contractions were
lasting 60 seconds or more.
Looking at the call log on my mobile, Martin phoned Rene at 8:31 (she confirmed
she was about 30/40 minutes away) and at 8:32 to Lynda (he was starting to stress
believing he may have to deliver the baby on his own). Lynda told him she was
15 minutes away and was doing 95mph, he told her to go faster and that if this
had been a hospital delivery he would definitely have me in there by now!!
Lynda arrived at 8:45pm. By now I was desperate to get in the pool and had an
urge to push. Martin called Rene again at 8:59pm and she confirmed she was about
5 minutes away but not to let me in the pool until she arrived. I knew a way
of slowing it down was to lean forward on all fours with my bum in the air but
just couldn't do it when I tried. I was on my knees leaning back on my hands
with one leg and foot tucked underneath. I don't know if I thought this would
hold him in!!
Rene arrived at 9:08pm. I immediately turned off the Tens machine and it was
taken off. Rene asked me to lay down very quickly to check the position of the
baby, which took seconds, then I got into the pool.
I was rocking slightly on my knees with my hands resting on the bottom of the
pool. I was moving my hands from the side to leaning them back behind me, trying
to find a comfortable position. I was instinctively placing one hand between
my legs as I knew he was nearly out, but am not sure whether I actually felt
his head. I remember Rene shining a torch to check what was happening as the
room was dark. After about 5 or so pushes Austen was born under water at 9:17pm,
9 minutes after Rene arrived. He was placed directly into my arms. The labour
was about 1 hour and 45 minutes.
I had a physiological third stage. At 9:31pm the cord stopped pulsating and
Martin cut the cord. After nearly an hour in the pool I decided to get out and
hold Austen, hoping this would speed up delivery of the placenta (as by this
time he was cuddled up with his dad). To my amusement, as I stepped out of the
pool, and with gravity, the placenta fell to the floor between my legs.
I feel very honoured to have had the birth that I wanted. Having had two other
very different labours, I can honestly say that a home birth and especially
a waterbirth is amazing, I would recommend it to anyone. I felt a real sense
of privacy being in the water and mobility is for obvious reasons so much easier.
I really wouldn't want to give birth in hospital again - not that there are
plans for any more!!
Finally, I was also very privileged to have had Rene as my midwife, she too
is amazing!! Having such a fantastic midwife makes all the difference to the
birth experience and the end result is a much happier mother and baby.
Gemma & baby Maisie - Waterbirth at home
Sorry its taken me soo long, but I'd like to announce the birth of a beautiful
baby girl, Maisie!
She arrived on 20th March after just 5 hours!!
As you probably know, I was lucky enough to have Rene (a private midwife - for
those who don't know) and a home water birth as planned and it was the most
amazing experience I've ever had!
Well to keep it short and sweet......I didn't even know I was in labour, Rene
came round for her usually weekly antenatal appointment and ended up staying
and delivering!!! I had had a huge contraction just before Rene got here.
I had a bit of back ache the night before but just thought it was...well back ache.. when Rene came round for the appointment, I just mentioned it and she said that she would examine me before she left! Anyway to both our horrors she told me that I was in labour and 4cm dilated! Rene couldn't believe that I had had only 1 contraction and already I was this far! She told me to call Ben (my partner) back from work straight away. Ben arrived quick enough and Rene said she would leave it about 2 hours before she examined me again... anyway these hours quickly passed and still not much happening... one or two tiny twinges about every hour... then another huge 1 so she examines me again before she thinks she maybe able leave and go home and come back later.. but when she examines me, again to our horror (and joy!) I was now 8cm dilated!!!! By this time we thought the baby was going to come there and then but I was still watching tv, talking on the phone to my mum and dad!
Rene instructs Ben to get the pool filled up as quickly as possible as she
thought it could come at any minute without any warning, she was also preparing
me for shock as it was all happening far too quickly and not allowing those
strong painkilling hormones to take effect! Rene was so amazed at was happening
(or what wasn't happening should I say) that she phoned her supervisor to advise
of a fast birth! She told me that at this point in labour most women were in
absolute agony, and there I was sitting on the birthing ball with all my clothes
on, smiling for the camera (yes she took pictures too!!). Anyway Ben quickly
filled the pool up and I got in, all really calm and tranquil, just amazing!
By this time I was getting more contractions, however still not very regular
and some more painful than others, but still bearable. Rene has since told me
that the only way she could tell I was having a contractions was because I screwed
my nose up!! So all pretty silent and calm, and I made sure I sat very still!
After a couple of hours in the pool, Rene asked me to move around a bit as I
had been in the same position for quite some time, and as soon as I did, that
was it, I could feel the baby coming and I felt this amazing urge to push, and
before we knew it the head was born and baby Maisie was born into the water,
and I scooped her up into my arms!!! Rene didn't even touch the baby until about
2 hours after the birth to weigh and check her over.
It was the most beautiful experience I've ever had! It literally happened all
on its own, just all so naturally, I pretty much delivered her myself! No gas
and air and just one slight tear that didn't need stitching!! Just AMAZING!
I wanted to breast feed too and Maisie latched onto the breast straight away
within a couple of hours, and Maisie has been feeding really well since, at
just two weeks old, Maisie had already put on 1lb!!
Anyway, must dash now as Maisie is crying for a feed!
Feel free to pass on my story to the girls, love Gemma x
Claire & baby Charlie - Normal birth in Hospital
We first met Rene when I was just 20 weeks pregnant. We had heard about Independent
Midwives from a family friend who had positively raved about having one midwife
who saw her through her antenatal visits and more importantly the labour and
post natal care. Thank God! What started as a nice ‘perk’ of pregnancy soon
became an invaluable and indispensable experience.
My pregnancy went forward without complication. Rene was so reassuring and informative
and we built up a complete trust in her. We decided to go ahead with a home
birth, something I would not have considered without Rene’s support.
I confidently waited for my due date, both mentally and practically prepared
for the birth. The birthing pool was inflated, snacks in the cupboard, birth
ball in the front room, along with a mountain of sheets and towels! 1 week over...
10 days over... 12 days over... the waiting was agonising but Rene was there
to encourage, support, wipe away the tears and administer the sweeps! However,
at 41 weeks + 6 days the baby was showing no signs of entering the world and
I was booked for an induction at the hospital. We were extremely disappointed
and tried every last trick in the book to get it moving but found ourselves,
to our bitter disappointment, walking down the hospital corridor with my suitcase.
Rene had explained about induction in great detail and had given us lots of
literature on it so we at least felt we knew what we were letting ourselves
in for.
A gel was inserted at 8.00pm and I was told to rest and wait for contractions.
By 7.00am the next morning I was having some mild tightening but little else.
Hooked to a CTG, Charlie’s heart was monitored and due to some decelerations
on the trace I was whipped into the labour room for closer monitoring and preparation.
I rang my husband Richard to come in and then calmly called Rene to update her.
Encouraging as ever, she told me to call whenever I felt I needed her. Half
an hour later words like ‘Syntocinon’, ‘epidural’ and ‘ARM’ were being thrown
about and mild panic set in. Richard was told to call Rene asap!
It was amazing for both Richard and I to have someone who knew us and our history
advising and explaining the various procedures being suggested. When I was told
I would need a drip I turned to Rene. Pain relief, breathing, positions... my
mind was so confused it was wonderful to have not only a professional but someone
I considered to be a trusted friend to guide us personally through it.
5 hours into the labour the contractions were strong and painful. Armed with
only gas and air, Rene massaged my head and told me when to breath in and out,
whilst Richard stroked my arm. After some involuntary pushing I was told to
get onto the bed. Excited that I may be drawing close I was shattered to discover
that I was still only 5cms dilated. It was at this stage that I began to panic.
I started to beg for an epidural. “I can’t do it!”, “It really hurts”, “I’m
too tired”, “I want it to all be over”... If Rene hadn’t been there to tell
me that “I could do it” and that it would be safer for me and the baby and I
would have a better chance of the natural birth I had so longed for, I know
that I would have relented under the pressure. Rene did not leave my side the
entire time. In fact, I ordered my husband to move cars, gather food and generally
run around whilst I stayed close to her.
At 8cms the contractions were coming thick and fast. Lights were turned down
and I was once again moved to the bed and the real ‘fun’ began. The hospital
doctors and midwives so rarely see a ‘normal’ birth I had quite an audience
when Charlie Cosgrove finally entered the world at 12.30am, something that I
am immensely proud of. Before I knew it I had a beautiful baby boy placed on
my chest and he began to feed. A warm bath and several chocolate biscuits and
the best rounds of toast ever (I was ‘nil by mouth’ the entire labour as they
thought I’d need to go into theatre) I was taken to the maternity ward. I so
longed to be at home at this point but it just wasn’t meant to be. It was quite
an experience and certainly nothing could have prepared me for it. I am sure
a home birth would have been a totally different but I know that everyone from
Rene to the hospital staff made it as natural and comfortable as possible under
the circumstances and for that I thank them all.
If this support wasn’t enough, we then had the invaluable help of Rene for the
post natal care. There is nothing more frightening then coming home and being
responsible for this tiny baby but to have someone in and out of the house and
on call 24/7 in case of any worries or concerns, well... I can’t describe how
fantastic that is. I was eager to breastfeed but it was so exhausting and challenging
but with Rene’s guidance I felt more uplifted and self-confident every time
I saw her.
Needless to say, Rene is truly worth every single penny and I would encourage
anyone to benefit from her extremely professional and, more importantly, caring
nature. You’d be lucky to have her!
Lisa & baby Archie - Waterbirth at home
Before
As a 39 year old first time mum, I got used to being called an ‘older mother’
by the professionals I saw in the early months of my pregnancy.
After my Nucal scan at Kings, where I was given very good odds, my care was
put over to my doctors, where I was to see the Midwife there.
When my next appointment was due, I rang up my doctors 3 weeks before to book
an appointment, only to be told there were none available for the next 2 months
and I couldn’t book for the 3rd month as the books hadn’t opened yet.... How
was I to get an appointment I asked? I was told to ring up the 1st of the month
when they open their books. This would be passed when my next check-up was due.
I rang at 8.30am the next month on the 1st, and was told all the appointments
were gone ...again. The doctors had only just opened, so not sure how this happened?!
Considering I was an ‘older mother’ I wasn’t doing very well in having regular
checks by my midwife. I was told I could see the doctor instead.
The midwife works at my doctors 2 days every 2 weeks, as they are so few and
far between, hence why it is so difficult to get an appointment.
By 30 weeks I still had not managed to see my midwife, and was becoming increasingly
disillusioned with the NHS service. A friend asked if I had thought about an
independent midwife.....
During
I emailed the Independent Midwifes and arranged an appointment for a chat and
haven’t looked back since!
Sally arrived and I liked her immediately, she seemed just like the sort of
person who I would like to have throughout my pregnancy, answering all my questions,
however stupid. Putting my mind at rest and didn’t seem bothered by my age or
that I wanted a home water birth.
My pregnancy progressed trouble free, I was relaxed with my care, and hence
a relaxed baby.
Sally gave me my 36 week check, and delivered the pool. All was going well,
I had just given up work the week before, and was looking forward to a few relaxing
weeks with my swollen feet up.
The next day my waters broke, which was a bit of a surprise! I phoned Sally,
and she assured me I wouldn’t have to go hospital if my contractions started
within 72 hours. She advised me to go for a walk and to eat some pineapple.
The next day my contractions started.... I was to phone Sally when they came
every 4 minutes. I felt relaxed in the knowledge that I didn’t have to worry
about getting to hospital, or that there wasn’t a bed and I was in my own surroundings.
Sally arrived that evening, and put me very much at ease and told me I was doing
all the right things, such as walking through my contractions, all of which
would be difficult to do at hospital.
As I got into the pool, the pain eased immediately. It was a relaxing experience,
to have the water around me. So much so I didn’t have any drugs or stitches...
A couple of hours later my beautiful baby boy was lifted onto my chest, eyes
open and looking happy, not a scream in sight. My partner cut the cord, and
had felt very much part of the whole experience.
After
The aftercare I received was amazing, having someone come in everyday the first
week to talk things through, show you how to breast feed, and generally look
after you really puts your mind at rest. It’s difficult enough being a first
time mum, what with the lack of sleep etc, it makes it so much easier having
someone each step of the way.
I would recommend the services of the Independent Midwives any day, and have
done so to all my friends!
Katie & baby Jamie - Waterbirth at home
My labour began 3 days early at midnight on Friday 14th sep 2007, we had got
into bed as normal about 10pm , and i didnt feel quite right. Just after midnight
i felt a tiny 'popping' sensation &sure enough this was my waters going
and i was suddenly sat in a huge puddle ! I phoned my independant midwife Rene
and explained what had just happened, she said to stay calm and keep her informed
of any further progress, i felt really frighetened but also excited as i knew
this was it ! I stayed in bed for a while sitting on heaps of towels and then
got up & started to note down my contractions as the pains had started about
30 mins after my waters had broken. At 02:00 i texted rene and said that i was
ok but why didnt anyone tell you how much it really really hurt !!!!!!!! She
told me to get my TENS machine on as the earlier you started to use it the better,
and get carl to fill the pool. I screamed up the stairs for carl to get up and
fill the pool as I had left him asleep until now, wanting him to get as much
rest as possible. It was now action stations, and i will never forget sitting
at the kitchen table and trying to figure out the tens machine while carl was
filling the pool - i had stupidly never taken it out the box for a practice
run and as such i was sat there trying to work it out between contractions -
ouch !! The contractions were getting stronger and stronger and much closer
togther but the tens machine was really helping me and i just kept pushing the
boost button when i needed it !. I moved to the lounge on the floor with a pen
and my little scrap of paper noting the contrations, and at 4am I said to Carl
to call rene as i couldnt cope with the pain anymore. We live in a town house
and the plan was always to have the baby in the pool in the kitchen - ground
floor, and the lounge is the first floor, which is where Rene found me when
she arrived.........
...........at this point we ran out of toilet roll ........yes, the whole house
none anywhere , which was awful timing !!!!!
Rene arrived at 0430 and i was lying on my left side on the floor. I had spent
2 weeks prior to this, in this position as she had told me it was the best way
to lie to get the baby in the best position for birth. During each contraction
I couldnt speak and on arrival Rene put on my hypnobirthing CD, this helped
so much as it helped me focus on something and really clamed me down. I had
been listening to it for 8 weeks prior - i totally recommend this as it was
brilliant throughout. During this Carl had the TV on and was actually watching
Jodie Marsh 'take me up the aisle' whilst lying on the sofa !!!! The hypno CD
actually zoned me out even from that tv rubbish - so it must have been working
!!!!
Rene was monitoring me continuously and listening to the baby with the doppler,
but I hadnt had an internal exam yet as i couldnt bear the thought of having
to lie on my back. I eventually let Rene examine me at 0630, it was awful as
the worse position was lying on my back, but when she said i was 8 cm i was
in total amzement ! Rene then reminded me how well I had done so far and told
me i was doing wonderfully. I really needed this encouragement and I also forgot
until this point that i still had gas and air and also the pool to help with
the pain - i really thought Rene would say i was only 2 cm dilated and was prepared
mentally for this - so when she said 8 cm i could have cried! Rene said the
pool would be my epidiral eqivalent so I very very slowly made my way downstairs
to the kitchen !
Carl had been working hard to get the pool to 38degrees using the kitchen taps
and the thermometer that came with the pool kit. At first i didnt like the pool,
i felt uncomfortable and awkward but after a while it was very soothing and
really helped. After 2 contractions in the pool i started on the entonox and
that was wicked , but all along i had the hypno CD playing this was just brilliant
and really helped me stay calm.The second midwife sally arrived at 0715. I remeber
feeling very scared and focusing on the baby not being able to fit - rene was
amazing and said i must trust my body and not panic. I was now on my knees and
up agaist the side of the pool with carl on his knees the other side helping
me with the gas and air. He was amazing and stayed there throughout ( which
he said was agony ...hmmm) , i had a little bite of toast and some milk and
then went back to trying to stay calm through the contractions. Rene was constanlty
checking the babys heart beat and that was so reassurig to hear. All I rememeber
was total focusing on the CD, carl splashing water on my back, and rene telling
me to stay calm. I had to try and remove myself from the pain, and the water,
was really helping. Rene was telling me when to push , pant , not push and did
exactly what i was told until i felt a total urge to push that i couldnt control............
Jamie was born at 0825 weighing 8Ib 5oz and was passed up onto my chest , I
just felt in total amazement and wonder, it was incredible !! A total rush of
love overwhelmed me and both carl and i were crying. At this point we still
didnt know if it was a boy or girl, so it was so special to lift the tiny little
leg and discover a boy !! We were both still crying and i had called my mum
in the water before carl had even cut the cord!!!! It was so special, and so
amazing. I stayed in the water to deleiver the placenta , which took about 20
minutes (i didnt have the injection) and carl had skin to skin contact with
jamie for this whole time. I finally got out of the pool at 0850 and was snuggled
on blankets & duvets on the floor, I lay there a good while and I think
my body was in a bit of shock by now, I still managed to ring the world &
his wife from my spot on the kitchen floor to tell them the news though ! I
was examined on the floor, and was very lucky not to need stiches, i had a few
small tears . Jamie was passed down to me after this and rene managed to latch
him on which hurt so much - almost as much as a mini contraction which i had
not expected at all.
Then we had the most amazing fry up from carl, while jamie was asleep in his
moses basket ! I was totally starving and I dont think i ever deserved a fry
up like i deserved that one after all my hard work !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Carl felt totally overwhelmed but he was so supportive of me & a home birth
, there is no way I could have done it without him. He wanted me to have a quiet
, calm, stress free birth and this is what I was very fortunate to have. Rene
works with the independant midwife association and is a miracle worker !!! x
Miranda & baby Tacy - Waterbirth at home
With the birth of our first daughter was had hoped for a water birth at home, instead we ended up with a forceps delivery in the hospital. Looking back, we felt that the NHS midwife attending the birth could have done more to enable us to have that homebirth.
So when I fell pregnant for the second time, the decision to choose an independent midwife was easily made. I wanted someone that I could trust, who would respect my wishes and who would provide continuous care.
I had a great pregnancy and could not wait to meet my baby. On a Thursday morning I was having tea with a friend who practices acupuncture and we talked about how acupuncture could help move babies in the right position and that acupuncture could help start labour as it is all about channeling energy. At that stage that sounded really good to me. Although I wasn’t overdue this would definitely be something that I would consider. In the afternoon I went to see a friend who had an NCT open house where mums and babies meet. We talked about old wives tales on again how to get labour started. I was so ready to have that baby. Sniffing a baby’s head might do the trick, so I actually had a sniff or two that afternoon.
We decided to have an early night and while I was brushing my teeth I got my first contraction. I kind of knew that it was a contraction, but wanted to see what would follow and yes … every five minutes and they were not even uncomfortable .We did not want to ring Rene too early, but on the other hand thought that we could better let her know that things were moving before she went to sleep.
When Rene arrived, she checked my blood pressure and the baby’s position and told me that I could get in the birth pool. She was right in that the contractions would stop once I got in the water … but were to come back even stronger. Sally, the second midwife arrived soon after and by that time I asked for entonox as the contractions were coming fast and very strong.
Rene could see by the purple line running up my back that I was almost fully dilated. Apparently this is something that is not always visible or clear, but then again very helpful. A shame I could not see it for myself.
I did not have very much breathing time in between contractions and Rene and Sally did let me get on with things. My body did its work perfectly as did my voice. My husband came round to tell me that the baby’s head had appeared and that she looked very serene. As if I did not know that the head was out! The rest of her arrived in the next push. While admiring our beautiful daughter, the placenta arrived, also naturally.
I stil cannot get over the fact that the whole labour was just under two hours. Rene and Sally stayed to ensure that I was comfortable and that Tacy was latching on to feed.
Mattie, our first daughter slept through the whole thing and looked pleasantly surprised when she came into our bedroom to meet her baby sister early the next morning. She immediately wanted a cuddle.
This is not where Rene and Sally stopped caring for us. The regular visits to check up on both me and Tacy were very much needed as the baby blues kicked in, Tacy was fine though. Even though I breastfed before, I could not have been prepared for all the aches and pains that can accompany breastfeeding. So there was a lot of crying from my end and a lot of comforting from Rene and Sally’s end. Exactly what I needed.
As I told Rene, if we decide in the future to have another baby, she will be our first port of call.
Thank you.
Anita & baby Jamie - Water birth at Home
I am the first person to admit that, I probably approached researching a midwife in completely the wrong way. I initially looked to engaging the services of a private midwife, as I thought that having midwife who antenatal appointments at a time that I needed (and bypassing the doctor’s waiting room in the process) would mean that I was in control of when I would have my check-ups and I could fit them around my working day. This is true, but having a midwife such as Rene has meant so much more.
I set out at the beginning, steadfast in the belief that I would give birth at hospital. The hospital was nearby, had huge stocks of pain relief and, let’s face it, I was not brave enough to be a trailblazer and give birth at home (especially as this was my first child).
I started off with the conventional NHS visits – long waits at the hospital entailed, my booking-in appointment never arrived, doctors baffled (and scared me) with jargon, which I had to look up on the internet. It was a hard slog… and this was just a month into the pregnancy !!! I then met Rene. She is one of those people who instantly puts your mind at rest. She really knows her job, providing you with books and handouts to answer your questions and will spend as much time as needed to make sure that you are happy. Pregnancy is wonderful, but to a new mum, it is so scary ! Everything is new and nobody, other than Rene, seemed to have the time to explain things properly to me. I never felt that she had the meter running when she visited me, she stayed as long as I needed.
Being pregnant and giving birth is all about trust. You have to feel prepared for the birth and knowing that someone like Rene (and Sally) were going to be there at the birth, not some anonymous midwife or, even worse, a spotty student doctor, which really didn’t put me in the best frame of mind. I never questioned Rene’s knowledge and trust her totally. It has been a very short period of time to get to know a person, but I hope that I can count her as a friend. She is not judgemental and if you strongly believe in something (as long as it is not going to harm the baby or you), then that is fine.
When the birth arrived (very quickly), it signalled a complete u-turn in my views about giving birth at the hospital. The actual birth was a very calm and spiritual experience. The fact that I could give birth at home and snuggle up in bed with my new-born baby was priceless. Baby James was born calmly and barely cried for days. Everybody commented on how content he was. Initially, I had been terribly concerned that home births meant that you didn’t have access to all the medical facilities which you could have at hospital. I realised that this is not necessary, if you are healthy. Naturally, if there are any complications, Rene will always be the first person to take you to hospital. I never felt in any danger, but always in control. It was a perfectly natural thing to give birth at home, as it should be.
The post-natal care, was also exceptional. Rene took great care to involve my husband at all times when she visited (every day for the first week) after the birth. Again, she spent as much time as was needed explaining everything we needed to know. I could have felt terribly isolated and bewildered in those first few weeks, but Rene was always there; someone to talk to and explain all these wonderful things that were happening to me and my baby as I began to learn how to be a mother.
I fully intend to keep in touch with Rene and keep her posted about how James is growing up. I would definitely say that having a private midwife and having a home birth is a life-changing experience. Let’s face it, for the cost of a holiday or a second-hand car, you can make sure that you give the best start possible to your child. I would not hesitate for a second in choosing Rene or Sally again to help me or my friends again. Many thanks !!
Rachael & baby Florrie - Home birth
Emily, 23/2/2003, 7lb 4oz
Emily was born in hospital and although the birth was straightforward we stayed in hospital for one night because Emily was covered in meconium when she was born and I had been given antibiotics during labour because of a leak in my hind-waters three days earlier. Emily was a sleepy baby and wasn’t hungry for about 15 hours after birth, despite a couple of attempts and skin-to-skin contact after birth. When she was hungry at midnight on a noisy postnatal ward I asked the midwife on duty for some help and on a closer look at me she told me that I had the wrong sort of nipples to breastfeed and asked which type of formula I would like to give her. Having been awake for three days by then (it had been a long pre-labour and labour) I chose one and tried to feed Emily the entire bottle not knowing how small new-born tummies are and of course the midwife had wandered off by then. Needless to say Emily spent the rest of the night regurgitating it.
The next day a helpful breastfeeding counsellor came along and helped me to get Emily latched on and gave her a reasonably successful breastfeed. We went home and soon got into difficulties. When Emily was weighed at 3 days she had lost more than 10% of her birth weight and the community midwives suggested that we used a formula top-up. They also suggested that we visit a breastfeeding counsellor which we did and she seemed to think that we were on track. However, very soon afterwards my nipples started to bleed at each feed, perhaps as a result of trying to feed for long periods at a time with a poor latch. When Emily was latched on, it had become an agonizing 20 minutes before I just had to take her off again. We had a few visits at home from midwives who all tried very hard to help with positioning, but they didn’t have time to sit down with me to work out what the problem was. They suggested nipple shields, which didn’t help at all. At ten days I discovered spots all over my breasts and was diagnosed with thrush (a side effect of the antibiotics given in labour). I was in a great deal of pain. We made the decision that the only way that I could continue giving Emily breast milk was to express and feed her with a bottle, giving a formula top up, with the idea that I might return to direct breastfeeding when my nipples had healed up a bit more. I never did although continued to express until Emily was 6 months old, confident that this effort was giving her the same benefit as if she had been breast feeding.
I felt pretty wretched at the time, that I was somehow letting Emily down because I couldn’t provide her with the best possible milk, but looking back I did the very best that I could and she’s now a very healthy little girl. I was left with not only the physical scars, but emotional ones too, dreading having another baby and having to repeat the experience.
Peter, 1/1/2006, 9lb 6oz
After the difficulties breastfeeding first time around, we decided that I really needed some extra help to get breastfeeding established. I didn’t think that I would have had enough time to express and look after a toddler. When we heard that some friends had got in touch with an independent midwife to help with their second child we decided to find out more and quickly decided to employ her services. What a treat! She and her midwife partner came to the house for ante-natal visits, which lasted a very spoiling hour with no sense of rushing.
We had always intended to have Peter in hospital, but when it came down to it I changed my mind and decided to stay at home, which is exactly what happened. Contractions started at about 5pm on New Year’s Eve, about 2 hours after Nick arrived home from a wedding in Ireland and after a delicious supper with Nick’s parents and a couple of friends (who left early) Peter was born at 9.20am on New Year’s Day, 10 days before his due date.
Peter had skin-to-skin contact (as did Emily) and was placed on the breast for his first feed which lasted around 30 minutes. He wasn’t particularly hungry for the next 48 hours, like Emily, although this time we managed a few good feeds, with lots of help and advice from my midwife who visited every day. When my milk came in my nipples got very sore, but with the help of some lansinoh cream, we battled through the physical toughening up stage and through the memories of perceived failure from the first time around. The psychological battle was harder, but with each day that passed it got easier.
One morning I woke up with extremely full breasts only to find that I couldn’t get it out. After a panicked phone call to my midwife and one warm bath later we were back on track. The beauty of having an independent midwife meant that I could call her if I felt anxious and she would try to time house calls with feeds and even came out twice on one day to observe and help which turned out to be a break-through day in getting feeding established. She would even call me with a new idea to try because she had been thinking about my particular issue and concern of the day and it really felt as though she was on my side. I ended up feeding Peter for a year, was somewhat sad to end it and felt that it had been a satisfying experience.
Florence, 17/2/2008, 7lb 11oz
After the success of feeding Peter I realised that I had really benefited from having the extra help, and having enjoyed the luxury of having an independent midwife, we went down this route once more. Sharon, who had delivered Peter, had retired by this time, but Rene, who had assisted at Peter’s birth had taken over. We got in touch pretty much as soon as we found out that I was pregnant (at around 6 weeks), keen not to miss the slot in Rene’s diary. After a pretty straightforward pregnancy (despite an unexplained bleed at 27 weeks leading to a night in hospital), Florrie was born at home after a 3.5 hour labour with virtually no pushing (thank you Peter!) a week early. Like her siblings, she wasn’t at all interested in feeding despite skin-to-skin contact and continued to be very sleepy for the next 48 hours or so.
The day after she was born Rene came out and we tried to feed her in a lying down position. It took ages to get her latched on, which was very frustrating, and then when she finally got going, the doctor turned up to give her a post-natal check-up. After taking her off and getting her checked she was declared healthy and we managed to get her latched on again.
The next few days proved a bit of a roller coaster. Just as I thought we were getting the hang of it, my milk came in and my nipples were a complete mess, showing that we hadn’t quite got it right. In order to get a better latch I tried a rugby ball hold, with lashings of lansinoh cream and a great deal of nerve for the next few weeks. After a couple of weeks I felt confident enough to change position on one side to a tummy-to-tummy hold, but not on the other.
Then at about week 4, just as Rene was going to sign me off, I suddenly got several blocked milk ducts on one side. I tried hot baths to massage them away and then about 4 days later I started to get shivery and it all went very red - mastitis had taken hold. Rene helped to unblock the ducts, but within about half an hour it had all flared up again with a vengeance. The next day I shivered my way to the doctors, who put me on antibiotics. The antibiotics hadn’t kicked in a couple of days later and a soft area had started to form on the affected side, so we called the GP out for a home visit who told us to head off to the local A&E department. We saw an obstetrician who sent us away telling us to wait for the antibiotics to work.
The pain intensified each day, however we persevered until the antibiotics had run out when we went back to see the GP who prescribed another dose. By the end of the week the redness and hardness and pain were still pretty obvious so we went back and this time rather than simply sending us back to A&E she spoke to a surgeon at Lewisham hospital and sent us in with a letter of referral. When I peeled back my bra and cabbage leaf to show the surgeon the sorry state of affairs, a whole load of pus oozed out of the side of my breast. The abscess that had been unhappily growing for the last couple of weeks had burst. While it was a bit of a shock, it was good to finally have a correct diagnosis and for some of the pressure to be relieved. The surgeon eased out as much pus as he could and sent us home with a letter to pass on to the GP suggesting a referral to a breast clinic. Once we were at home I fed Florrie and a whole load more pus came oozing out. So, while I fed her, Nick passed me tissues to mop up the mess and tried to keep her hands out of it. It was all pretty unpleasant but seems comic in retrospect! Even though in agony I kept feeding throughout as everyone emphasised that this could only help and it would get even more painful if I stopped.
The next week I went back to the GP who didn’t seem to think that a referral was needed, but by the weekend the pain was getting worse and the wound had still not healed and so I went back the following week. This time having found out which particular nasty bacteria had found its way into my system I was prescribed antibiotics once more and referred to a breast clinic. A few days later we went and were sent for an ultrasound scan after the following weekend. This showed that there were no serious blockages and that it was just going to take some time for the breast tissue to soften up, for the wounds to heal and for the redness to fade. It was all very reassuring and since then, despite the odd blocked duct, all of which I have managed to clear using hot baths and firm massage, we have been feeding more easily since about week 8.
So, here we are at week 14, planning to go the whole year. It is so much easier to breastfeed than bottlefeed now. Florrie no longer has the mammoth feeds that she enjoyed as a new born, I don’t have to prepare feeds and sterilise bottles and I can feed her wherever we happen to be – we can even be spontaneous and not worry that we haven’t brought enough formula with us, or worry that the formula was prepared too far in advance. Life is very flexible and even enjoyable. Emily and Peter love their new sister, who is as delightful as they are and has even been sleeping through the night for a few weeks now. The last word should really go to Nick who has been amazing – loving, supportive and encouraging through some tough days and nights at times of real agony and exhaustion – frankly, I would have given up long ago if it hadn’t been for him.
Rebecca & baby Harry - Home birth
I was due my second baby – a boy this time, around 18th November 2008. I already
have a daughter – Amelia, whom I had an easy pregnancy with, tried to have a
homebirth, but didn’t go according to plan, so I was transferred to hospital.
This time I really wanted to try again for my homebirth – which I thought would
be quite straightforward and realised when it came to it, that the NHS midwives
are so stretched, that when it was time for my homebirth pack to be delivered,
my midwife went through the formalities with me etc and for the first time I
started to panic about not knowing whether I would have the same midwife present
at the birth. Andy and I discussed the possibility of having an independent
midwife – something that we did contemplate in the beginning, but never really
did anything about until 5 weeks before baby was due.
I did a search for independent midwives within close proximity to my home and
made a few phone calls and one person – Sally Harley, really stood out from
the rest – she put mind at rest straight away, was very down to earth and listened
to my fears and answered my many questions that I’d had! We made arrangements
for her to come round and meet Andy, Amelia and I. We decided there and then
that we really liked her and wanted to book her in – luckily, she didn’t have
another birth booked for around the same time.
Sally visited once a week for ante-natal appointments and on each visit, made
a real effort with Amelia, whom I was worried would be left out – but she really
involved her.
My due date came and went but then 2 days after (by this time I was soooo ready
for baby to be born!) I had a reflexology session at 8 o’clock that evening
and by the time I’d got home at 9.15 – I was starting to get mild contractions.
I’d had quite strong Braxton hicks for a few weeks, so just thought it was another
bout of those!! By 11pm, they were getting fairly regular – about 10/15 minutes
apart, so I went to bed with my hypnobirthing cd and managed to sleep through
most of the contractions until 4.30am the next morning. By this time, they were
coming slightly quicker and a lot more painful! I made the decision to call
Sally and explained that they were about 10 minutes apart lasting about 30-40
seconds. Sally said to try and get some more sleep and to call back when they
were about 5 minutes apart and lasting up to a minute – which was only about
45 minutes later! I called back and Sally said she was on her way. Andy had
then thought it would be a good idea to start filling the pool.
When she arrived – around 6am, I was practically begging for the gas and air
– which I was so grateful for when she got it connected up! This became my best
friend throughout the whole of my labour! Sally examined me soon after she arrived
and I was 6-7cm dilated – which I was really chuffed at! A few minutes later,
Rene – Sally’s colleague arrived. I then got into the birthing pool – which
really helped with the contractions – again, I managed to breathe through with
the gas and air and the techniques that I’d learnt with hypnobirthing. With
each contraction, both Sally and Rene were really encouraging me to go with
it and listen to my body. By 8.30am I was getting pressure and urge to push
– which I started to do inside the pool. I’d decided to get out of the pool
and try some other positions. By this time it felt like hours had passed and
I can remember saying “where is he, it’s taking too long”. Sally and Rene kept
encouraging me all the time – which really helped. Unfortunately, by 10.30am,
I was examined again as I didn’t appear to be progressing even though I was
fully dilated – but Harry obviously had other ideas and he was actually in the
back-to-back position. By this time, I decided that I wanted to be transferred
into hospital, as I was getting tired.
Sally had called them in advance to warn them we were coming in and an ambulance
was called. Once we arrived the care was unfortunately handed over to hospital
staff, but Sally and Rene were still able to be in the room with Andy and I.
An hour or so later, gorgeous baby Harry was born by forceps – so not the birth
I had anticipated, but was relieved that we were both ok. As soon as he was
born we did skin-to-skin and he fed straight away – he was then feeding extremely
well (and extremely often!!) afterwards.
In the days after Harry was born, Sally visited every day for a week – which
was a godsend, as she helped me with different positions to try for breastfeeding,
as I didn’t have a clue. I was extremely proud to have breastfed for 9 days
– all thanks to Sally’s help, but unfortunately decided to give up, as he was
just such a hungry baby and with a two year old to look after too, it was too
much. He is now happily bottle-fed and is doing really well.
Thank you again to Sally and Rene who do an absolutely fantastic job. Please
keep in touch!!
Masha & baby Viktoria- Home birth
Our little Viktoria was born at home on 11 November 2008 and Rene was there to look after her safe coming into this world. This was our third home birth with an independent midwife. We've always thought that one of the best decisions that we have ever made as a couple was to choose a home birth. The added bonus was the support of an independent midwife in the case of each birth, which has proved to be invaluable, incredibly helpful and made the whole experience of bringing a little person into this world such a wonderful experience. We cannot praise enough the support that we've received from Rene when we were expecting our little Viktoria, the support that Rene has given to us during the labour and during the postnatal care. Thank you very much, Rene, for everything you have done for us! You've played a huge and a very positive part in our lives and we are most grateful for everything! Merijn & Masha "
Joanne & baby Daniel- Home birth
John and I felt woefully unprepared for the birth of our first child. We didn’t know anyone with children and we didn’t have any family close by. We saw a different NHS midwife at every antenatal appointment and, although each of the midwives that we saw was very nice, there was no real continuity and our Birth Plan was only given the briefest of glances. It wasn’t the “close” experience that we wanted for our first child but we just thought “that’s just the way it is these days”. In fact, we felt very much alone.
Then, with just two weeks to go (or so we thought at the time!), someone at a Saturday morning NCT sale recommended independent midwives. We’d never heard of them, or really considered a private option, but her recommendation was so strong and appealed to all our doubts about the normal hospital system, that we made a short appointment to see René on the Tuesday, liked each other, and agreed that we would meet again on the Friday to discuss the Birth Plan.
But just 2 days later, on the Thursday, I went into labour! When the contractions started we drove to Queen Mary’s but were sent home around 8am as I was only 2-3 cm dilated. René and Lisa (student midwife) came straight out to the house. We ran through the Birth Plan as I crawled around on all fours in our bedroom! Our plan was to stay at home as long as possible and then transfer to Queen Mary’s Midwife-Led Birthing Unit with René accompanying John and I as an advocate and birthing partner. But while we were at home, I set up my music, dimmed the lights, breathed, sang and swayed. Whenever the music came to an end, René or Lisa dived across the room and pressed ‘PLAY’ again as I wasn’t using any pain relief other than TENS and they could see that I only felt pain when the music stopped. My husband John and I even had a slow dance to some Roberta Flack music and it was wonderful for us to be in the relaxed surroundings of our own home and able to hold each other and be together.
Within two hours I was 8cm dilated. I was so comfortable that I now wanted to stay at home and have the baby there - much to my husband’s horror. But René reassured us that it would be OK. It was more than OK. René & Lisa created a calm and relaxed atmosphere in which I felt totally safe. They had the skills, experience and equipment to cope with any eventuality. It’s like running a marathon and having two wonderful coaches running alongside, shouting words of encouragement and egging me on to the finishing line. They were unobtrusive when I wanted then to be and full of great suggestions when I started flagging. I was able to trust them implicitly, let go and retreat into my own world.
The second stage took longer than expected and we know from hospital guidelines that if I’d gone to hospital, I’d have ended up with a ventouse or forceps delivery rather than a natural delivery in its own time. Daniel was born eight hours later with John and I holding each other. René & Lisa took photos for us, tidied up, and talked us through putting on Daniel’s first nappy, winding him and bathing him – they even took care of the stitches quickly and painlessly.
René continued to see us over the next 30 days, visiting regularly and
answering all our queries on breastfeeding, expressing, getting Daniel to sleep
and soothing him when he cried. Nothing ever seemed too much trouble or beyond
her. She even came out late one evening when we were worried that Daniel wasn’t
getting enough milk. She spotted that he had a tongue-tie and organised for
him to have it cut. Since then,he has fed properly and steadily gained weight.
Very importantly, René bolstered our spirits when we were sleep deprived
and feeling low.
Overall, René and Lisa helped John and I to have the most wonderful birthing
experience – better than we ever thought we could have. Words cannot express
how grateful we are. THANK YOU!!!
Chiara & baby Sienna - Water Birth at Home
Not only was Rene my Midwife but she is also my mother in law and was an excellent
support to me and my partner (her son!) through out my whole pregnancy and during
and after the birth. We have built up a good close relationship and I trusted
her completely with my life and my baby’s. I faced a lot of opposition not from
the NHS but from other family members to have a home birth with Rene as she
is close family, but we fought against them and I’m glad we did as Sienna’s
birth was perfect, Rene was a godsend and I would go through all of that again
just to relive the experience.
She was always there for me if I needed her no matter how small or trivial the
problem seemed she never made me feel like I was wasting her time. This baby
was my second baby but my third pregnancy and I had a hard time accepting it
as I fell pregnant only three months after having a miscarriage and I was worried
something would go wrong so I had difficulties bonding with her. Rene supported
me through my miscarriage and this pregnancy. She came to all my scans and hospital
appointments with me as Sienna was quite big so I was frequently scanned as
the hospital were looking for problems that weren’t there! Not only that but
she was also taunting them by being breech and if she stayed in that position
there was no way I could have a home birth according to the experts so Rene
gave me a book on ways of turning her into a head down position which Harrison
my 3 yr old found quite amusing!
Sienna was only a day late which I was quite glad about as she weighed 9lb10! Rene came round on the Friday the day she was due and gave me a sweep which seemed to start things off. I was having niggles during the evening and through the night but it was about 6am Saturday the contractions became more regular. Kiel phoned Rene at 6:30 and she came straight round. I made tea and toast between contractions and was ready to get in the pool about 7:35. Sally turned up about 5 past 8 to assist although apart from sleeping and being sick I wasn’t doing much. Harrison and Kiel were busy watching Mickey Mouse so they were keeping themselves entertained whilst waiting for Sienna to arrive. I started pushing about 9:10 and Sienna was born at 10:05. Rene passed her up to me and I immediately fell in love with her, she did look a bit like the crazy frog because she was grey with bulgy eyes but she was gorgeous and I couldn’t believe how easy and relaxing her birth was. I also had the physiological third stage which only took 15 minutes. I would definitely recommend a home water birth to anyone as it is amazing not only was I really relaxed but sienna was too and she really is the perfect baby.
Sienna’s birth was perfect and a wonderful experience so thank you Rene and Sally for being there and supporting me through it. And thank you Rene for all the support you also gave us after the birth you are one in a million and we are lucky to have you xxx
Catherine & baby Thomas - Home Birth
As this was our first baby we didn’t really know what to expect and when. I had my pregnancy confirmed by my doctor at around 6 weeks but didn’t have my 12 week hospital scan as they could only offer me one day and one time which I couldn’t make, so I went to the Foetal Medical Centre in Harley St instead. However, it seems that because of this I fell off the NHS radar and after chasing my doctor I was finally booked in at 21 weeks, by which stage we were rapidly losing confidence in the system.
That was when we were told about Rene. We liked the idea of having someone who could tell us what should be happening and when, and who could put our minds at ease. I liked the idea of having a home birth, but David had looked at me as though I was a fruit loop when I suggested it and said so when Rene turned up for our consultation we were intending to have her as a birthing partner in hospital. She left us both convinced that a home birth was an achievable and safe option and so we booked her hoping to have a home water birth. Rene was a godsend from the moment we booked her and was there to answer all the silly questions that I probably would have just brooded over or spent hours googling otherwise. She was able to do my antenatal appointments at my convenience in the evenings and I looked forward to them every time - it was like having a friend over for a cuppa who let you talk about yourself and your bump the whole time - brilliant! We were introduced to Sally and Claire who work alongside her; Sally would be the 2nd midwife at my home birth and Clare was on call in case I went into labour early when Rene was on holiday, so we felt very confident that I was in good hands.
By 38+5 Rene was back from holiday and I was getting into the swing of my first week of maternity leave. I didn’t feel like I was going into labour any time soon so I decided to go for a walk, I must have walked at least three miles and when I got back I decided to practice making my baby a birthday cake as my NCT teacher had said it was a nice thing to do while in labour. I made a cake and then decided that the bathroom floor was looking a bit grubby so I cleaned it, not really noticing that the back ache I’d had since returning from my walk was gradually being accompanied by period pain, but you get so many aches and pains at that stage it never occurred to me that I might have been going into labour. The following morning, at 5.40am on the 2nd October (the day that we had joked would be a convenient day for him to be born on), I got up for the umpteenth wee of the night and my waters broke just as I got to the bathroom door. Contractions started straight away, but they weren’t too bad so we monitored them and Rene came round at 11.45am and I spent the next 4 1/2 hours on my ball with my tens on before getting in the pool. I didn’t find the pool as much of a relief as I thought I would but I don’t think it was quite hot enough. Just as I got to the pushing stage the doorbell rang and it was Sainsbury’s with the food shopping! Timing! After that my contractions slowed down a bit and I went upstairs for a wee and decided I didn’t want to come out and an hour later I delivered my 7lb 1oz gorgeous baby boy, Thomas, on the (recently scrubbed) bathroom floor! After David had cut the cord and I had delivered the placenta we all sat in the bathroom (Thomas and I in the bath) eating his ‘practice’ Birthday cake! It was perfect and I was so relieved to be in the comfort of my own home.
It was such an amazing experience and we have some lovely photos thanks to Rene and Sally to remember it by. I am so happy that I was able to have Thomas at home and it was all down to the fantastic help and support that Rene and Sally gave me. I couldn’t have wished for and better birth experience and can’t thank them enough!
We will be calling Rene straight away next time!
Catherine, David and Thomas xxx